You might enter into a same-sex relationship thinking you know all the troubles that lie ahead. Discrimination, rejection by family and friends, spending eternity in hell â€” none of that is news.
But, Iâ€™ll bet you never considered the bundle of difficulties caused by being in a relationship with someone whoâ€™s a lot like you. Someone with whom you share everything from chromosomes to conditioner.
Hereâ€™s an example of what I mean: My partner and I have the same name. Her first name is Anne, which is also my middle name. It took me a while to get comfortable saying her name. I felt like I was calling myself and having attacks of egomania.
Opposite-sex couples can experience this trouble too, of course. A woman named Jordan can marry a man named Jordan or a Jean can connect with a Gene. But, the chances of twin names are much increased with gay couplings.
We all know a Mike and a Mike or a Sarah and a Sarah. The other day I heard a lesbian couple referred to as â€śthe Rachels.â€ť Anyone whoâ€™s adamant about maintaining individuality might have to rethink this gay thing.
I suppose preventive action is a possibility. A lesbian could legally change her name before starting a relationship, pick a name that no other woman is likely to share. Like Augustina. Or Pittsburgh. Or Cementmixer.
Then thereâ€™s the issue of clothing. Back when I was in a straight relationship, my boyfriend was too tall and too male to borrow my clothes.
Now all bets are off.
Anne has borrowed everything from bras to hats. She so covets a shirt of mine she whimpers a little when I wear it. Iâ€™ll soon know what it means to give someone the shirt off my back.
She and I arenâ€™t the same size, nor do we have identical taste. For these reasons, I know my entire wardrobe wonâ€™t go missing.
But, I can imagine what it must be like for, say, a femme couple with similar proportions where one woman is constantly pilfering and the other can never find what she planned to wear. On a morning when the latter can locate nothing to wear to work but pumps and a nightgown, the fur will fly.
Iâ€™d be remiss if I didnâ€™t note that sometimes itâ€™s a boon, clothing-wise, to be in a same-sex couple. You can double your wardrobe. But, only if you have like builds and taste. I suppose there are women out there who assess a potential partner for kindness, respect and to-die-for pencil skirts.
Turning to accessories, our friend Susan recently told Anne and me that she has begun carrying a purse again. The problem is her partner Joyce uses a purse that looks the same. Now each woman can find herself leaving the house with the wrong life.
Straight couples donâ€™t have this trouble.
On another subject, while anti-gay activists argue that male and female genitalia were meant to go together, theyâ€™re ignoring a more compelling biological argument. Two women going through menopause should never live together.
Between us, Anne and I have every menopause symptom going. When sheâ€™s having a hot flash, Iâ€™m too busy obsessing over my weight gain to notice, let alone sympathize. In straight households where the woman is experiencing menopause, itâ€™s the manâ€™s job to be sympathetic â€” when he isnâ€™t driving his girlfriend around in his new Ferrari.
Anne and I donâ€™t get sympathy, but we arenâ€™t being cheated on, so I guess itâ€™s a wash. Overall, though, I feel itâ€™s only right for young people to be alerted to the complications inherent in same-sex relationships. If the prospect of hell doesnâ€™t scare twinks, the prospect of sharing hair gel might. : :
info: LesRobinson@aol.com . generalgayety.com