Life just doesn’t have the kick it once had. I don’t even want to get out of bed to walk the dog. Any ideas for shaking off depression?
Depressed, Baltimore, MD
Did you know that all living creatures are one day on top of the world and the next day in the gutter and the next on top of the world and so on. When we’re busy we never get depressed. When we’re without work or projects, that’s when we hit bottom! This advice column came out of needing to beat a depression. So, pumpkin, start small with a short trip to a park, then a day at the beach then a weekend on the strip. Also, eat dark chocolate, sleep, exercise and watch funny movies. But, do something so something can happen. Come join the party ASAP.
I’m a handsome, fun and well-off gay man in my early 40s and not introverted. I think I’m a catch, but I can’t seem to catch anyone.
Catcher-less, San Antonio, TX
Meeting men can be a lot harder than, lets say, catching a lobster in a trap, but not a lot different. It might be a) you’re methods of meeting or talking to someone are faulty; b) you stop trying once you get rejected; or c) you try too hard. It could also mean d) you need a makeover. Many of us forget that dating, like life, is a journey, a lesson, a constant succeed and fail. So, baby, a) ask friends to tell you what you’re doing wrong; b) never give up; and c) keep up with the fashions. Staying current is your best ally. (I’ve got some super tips about makeovers. Take a look at my cartoon to learn more.)
I’m not happy with the person whom I’ve been dating for the past nine years. I’ve wanted out many times. My friends and family think I’m crazy. Do you think I’m crazy for giving up on nine years?
Making A Move, New Hope, PA
Dear Making A Move,
Friends and family always say, “Stick it out!” And, there may be something behind that. Thus, you may not be crazy, but you may be lazy! Separation and counseling versus breaking up is a better road, simply because it leaves you alternatives. On some level we create our life, the people in it and our situations so that we can learn more deeply about ourselves. With that, darling, see if your relationship troubles have to do with you not asking or even demanding what you need and want. Otherwise, start packing! Good luck.
I’m dating a married man. There, I finally said it. Help?
Dating Drama’s, Eugene, OR
Hey Dating Drama’s,
Yes, you are! You must have missed last years, “Ten Tips on Dating Someone Married,” so I’m gonna reprint them for you. But, listen kiddo, this path is definitely the hardest one. Good luck and here’s…
Trinity’s Top Ten Tips For Dating Someone Married
1. Keep asking your higher power, “How the hell did you get me into this mess?”
2. Don’t give presents that leave clues. Especially undergarments. Accepting presents is fine.
3. Two’s company, but three can only bring cheaper rent. Hey! I think we’ve got something!
4. Forget fantasizing about the future. There is none!
5. Guilt & shame are for religious fanatics. Forgiveness & self-respect are for enlightened realists.
6. Cologne and perfume are only worn when dating someone unmarried!
7. Adults have secrets! Honor their privacy and your own.
8. Be a classy hussy. If you must speak nasty about their spouse, don’t do it in front of them!
9. Have some smarts! Don’t sleep with anyone married until you have divorce papers.
10. Lastly, jewelry, art and leather give great return value, especially the day after they say, “Good-bye.” : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.