Open relationships vs. cheating

Tell Trinity

by Trinity  Contributing Writer  trinity@telltrinity.com
Published: December 6, 2013 in Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
There’s no such thing as an open relationship. A relationship is a contract, a commitment and if that contract is broken, there’s no relationship. So, if my boyfriend came home after screwing around then told me he loved me, I’d ram a pipe up his backside!
Commitment Or Pipe, Kansas City, MO

Dear Commitment Or Pipe,
Did you know that some people have closed, committed relationships like what you’re describing so gracefully, while others have open, committed relationships, which includes sex outside the relationship and that works gracefully for them. Talking to many folks in long, long-term relationships has exposed me to many ideas about relationships, opening my (closed) eyes. If you have an agreement to be monogamous, then you don’t have an open relationship. But, honey, if your partner one day does cheat, then hopefully you’ll love him enough to deal with it openly. Agreements change throughout a relationship, whether you or I like it or not!

Hello Trinity,
My boyfriend loves me, but wants me to be things I’m not — like doing or watching lots of sports. I don’t enjoy them, but I do it for him. Lately, he keeps insisting that my pleasure of shopping or people watching in malls is something he wants me to stop. Will he ever let me be me?
I Gotta Be Me, Dallas, TX

tt_394_120613Hello I Gotta Be Me,
Sure, when one becomes two, there’s a little give and take — sometimes, pumpkin, even a lot. Always be flexible, but if you start being disrespectful to yourself, you and he may need to have a let’s compromise pow wow! (My cartoon sure shows you how it is in my world.)

Dearest Trinity,
I’ve been living in Montreal, Canada, three years and I’m American. The gay men here are tres gorgeous, but no personality like in the states. Help!
Montreal Men, Montreal, QC

Dearest Montreal Men,
Americans do have an open spirit that may lack amongst some beautiful Quebecois gays. Why do you think the Webster Dictionary puts looks and personality 370 pages apart! Darling, keep meeting people and eventually you’ll find a Quebecois…with American descent.

Hey Trinity,
I’m dating a guy who drives like a maniac. How do I get him to drive carefully when I’m in the car without sounding like a neurotic date?
Driving Complaints, Cincinnati, OH

Hey Driving Complaints,
Some people forget they’re on a date, trying to impress someone, not racing in the Daytona 500. So, sweetie, besides offering to drive (for the rest of your lives together), try emailing him these tips:

Trinity’s Slow Tips For Driving With A Date
1. No tailgating. It’s guaranteed to scare your date! One car length for every 10 mph, please!
2. No road raging. Having to listen to someone screaming and driving is as awful as being beheaded in the name of Allah!
3. No speeding. It always makes someone feel like they’ve been kidnapped!
4. No breaking the law. If you’re trying to impress a date, running lights and stop signs definitely won’t do it!
5. No talking on the cellphone. Not even your loving mother wants to watch you drive and chat. Plus, you’re on a date, which means turn off the cellphone!
6. No driving offensively. It makes your passengers fear for their lives!
7. However, do drive patiently, like you have a famous person in the car. Your date will feel comfortable, at ease and feel like you care.
8. Do drive defensively. Let others make mistakes around you without having to prove something. A date is a time to act light, peaceful and forgiving!
9. Do wear your seatbelt. It makes you look responsible.
10. And, lastly, do remember, a car is a weapon that can kill you and your date, who is just trying to get to know you, not trying to share a funeral with you!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.