[Ed. Note — Contributor Michael Harney is writing to us from the I...
Does “we should take a break” mean “he met someone else?”
Updated: January 16, 2014 at 4:09 pm
My boyfriend moved to Colorado for a while because of family dilemmas and I stayed here in Kansas. Since he left, I haven’t heard from him much and today he called to say we should take a break. Does this mean he doesn’t want me or that he met someone else? Help!
Left Behind, Wichita, KS
Dear Left Behind,
Those breakup calls can leave you dizzy and delusional. Now, splash some cold water on your face, mix yourself a martini and listen up! If someone says, “we should take a break” then that definitely, without a doubt means: 1) for sure he doesn’t want to be with you for now, 2) something has changed in his head (or in his bed), 3) he might have met someone else or 4) he may just simply feel like he needs to stay away for a while and doesn’t want to string you along. Pumpkin, the only way to truly know is to right out ask, “What happened?” If you were boyfriends for longer that a month then you absolutely deserve to know who he’s sleeping with, I mean why he’s ending it! Good luck!
Everyone has extramarital affairs. What’s so wrong with it? Plus, I’m gay. Aren’t the rules different for us?
Extra Extra, Billings, MT
Dearest Extra Extra,
Yes many couples “cheat,” “play” or have “extramarital affairs” at least in Hollywood and probably in Billings, Mont. And, as for gay male couples, I will agree that extra sexual activities are not so taboo. Gay male marriage etiquette is different. But, honey, instead of spending time outside the bedroom, try, just try that’s all I ask, to spend more time in the bedroom with your mate. The outside world is very tempting, but sometimes you just have to say “no” because you choose to respect yourself and what you have! (My cartoon sure shows you how to deal with this, fa-shure!)
I met someone great, but I don’t want to date him and it hurts me to hurt him. I was just dumped and have already dumped someone once this year and I cried. How can I dump this guy without hurting him?
Dumping Hurts, Santa Fe, NM
Hey Dumping Hurts,
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just say, “I’m not interested” and everyone would be happy, but everyone hates to be the dumper and the dumpee, but that’s life. So, try starting with a deep breath and just blurting out, “This isn’t working out for me” or “I need to stop seeing you” then the rest will flow with poison, I mean passion. Also, sweetie, remember you are not responsible for everyone’s feelings…most of the time!
I’m gay and I have two coworkers who “think” they’re straight. How do I tell them gently that, “that’s not possible.” I want to be tactful, but clear.
Save Our Straight, Palisades Park, NJ
I also know some straight married men myself who have quicker comebacks and a smarter fashion sense than a bar full of gays. Next time you’re all having a martini together try stirring up reality by reading them:
Trinity’s Facts For What You Instinctively Do Just Because You’re A Gay Man
1. You know how to make a fabulous entrance.
2. You truly understand the importance of good lighting.
3. Your best friends were once your boyfriends.
4. You have a medicine cabinet filled with little goodies.
5. You know how to give just the right smile that says, “stay away”!
6. Your fantasies include back up dancers.
7. You have “girlfriends” who are neither girls nor friends.
8. You can lip-sync to at least one entire Broadway musical.
9. You can spot a toupe from one hundred yards.
10. And, lastly, you can comfortably have complicated sex.
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.
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