Coming out: The greatest gift you can give yourself

Tell Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
About a month ago, I came out to my wife, two kids and to my very straight job. My wife was great, but my job couldn’t handle it, so I was strategically fired. Did I do the right thing?
Ouch I’m Out, Ottawa, ON

Dearest Ouch,
Being yourself, freeing yourself, saying who you are and surrounding yourself with supportive people, even if it means changing jobs, neighborhoods or family situations, will always be the greatest and holiest gift you can give yourself and the world around you. So, yes, honey, you did a great thing! Now call a lawyer and sue those bastards.

Hey Trinity,
How do I meet more people when I only go out once in a while?
Trapped At Home, Nashville, TN

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tt_455_040816Hey Trapped,
On those rare nights when you do go out, make sure to look overly attractive and talk to as many people as you can. Don’t waste these rare outings. The more people you get the attention of and talk to, the better your chances are. Meeting people is a numbers game, pumpkin, so play it big! (Check out my cartoon to see how I am able to keep an array of acquaintenances buzzing around me.)

Dear Trinity,
I’m gay, live in a very small town and have trouble meeting dates. Any ideas on how to survive, not so alone?
Population Troubles, Crescent Beach, FL

Dear Population Troubles,
Honestly, the best way to find a date in a small town is to move out. Yes, you can join Scruff, Gindr or Loosr, but those apps are only going to find you heartache. However, bigger cities mean bigger dating opportunities, so sorry, sweetie. But if finding a relationship is your priority, moving out may have to become your reality. I did it and my dating life, amongst many other things, soared!

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Hello Trinity,
Last week I made a date with the bouncer of a bar I frequent. But he got excited and told people, which weirded me out, so I never showed up. Now he won’t let me in the bar. I apologized, but he says I’m not welcome there. Help?
Stood Up/Kicked Out, Minneapolis, MN

Hello SU/KO,
I know you’d like me to say he should forgive you and let you in, but what were you thinking when you stood him up? Standing someone up is evil and inhumane. However, baby, send flowers, an apology card and keep trying, oh and also read:

Trinity’s Disastrous Tips For What You Did To Someone When You Stood Them Up
1. You made him leave work early, clean his apartment and get all dressed up just to spend the evening confused, distrusting and dirty!
2. You got her all worked up for a good date just to waste a good night on a good cry!
3. You made him cook dinner and open an expensive bottle of wine just to watch the wine age and the food mold.
4. You made her pace the floor, stare at the clock and check her text messages endlessly hoping that she didn’t meet another looser!
5. You made him lay painfully on the couch wondering, “Did I say something wrong? Did I get the time right?” Or, “Am I going to be alone forever?”
6. You made her call friends, family and 1-900-4-C-R-I-S-I-S to get support for issues she hasn’t dealt with since 11th grade!
7. You made him wish angry, unhealthy and negative things about you, plus you ruined, once again, someone’s dream of a relationship!
8. You made her obsess about love, honesty and life — need I go on!
9. You set him up with all your promises, just to let him down with all your narcissistic arrogance!
10. Lastly, you made him wait, alone, at a bar, a restaurant or at home like a prisoner, a victim, a punished criminal when all he wanted to do was to get to know you better!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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