Keep your friends close and your enem…I mean, friends with whom you simply disagree…closer. How many anti-LGBT groups’ email lists are you subscribed to? I’m on several. I love keeping up with the folks who are out to cause our community harm. I’m in the loop, can counter whatever message they might be broadcasting today and can keep abreast of their fewer and fewer successes and mounting failures.

You can call it outright cruel, but I’ve been especially giddy after learning of the months-long financial crisis inside Raleigh’s Christian Action League, a teetotaling, anti-gay network of fundamentalist and evangelical churches, religious groups and pastors. It seems our “friends” in wolves’ clothing continue to suffer under the weight of a $21,000 debt.

Back in September, the League’s executive director, Rev. Mark Creech, sent out his first of several messages begging and pleading for donations. Unfortunately, his wife got sick just as he began his master plan to get the League back on track. Regardless, wifey is better now and Creech has again picked up his guitar and put out the hat for those who care to toss him some change. What kind of entertainment is he offering in order to garner all that supposed support out there? It’s just the same old worn out song and dance we’ve heard and seen time and time again.

To the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle,” sing with me now: “Queers are raising lots of dough, they’ll take o’er before you know. Anal sex in our classrooms, pedophiles will come next soon. Queers are claiming victory, we’ve got to stop this sodomy!”

Meanwhile, and this is really what’s got poor Creech’s knickers in a twist, Equality North Carolina is drowning in a flood of cash. Along with a coalition of parent, youth and education groups, ENC successfully pushed for an LGBT-inclusive anti-bullying bill last year. This year, they’re embarking on an initiative to end anti-gay discrimination in state employment. And, North Carolina remains without an anti-gay marriage amendment. For six years in a row. Maybe Creech should get some singing and dancing lessons? : :

This article was published in the Feb. 20 – Mar. 5 print edition.