I’m a 41-year-old gay businessman who likes visiting (male) strip bars
when I travel, especially in Montreal. Even though most of the guys
are hard-edged, young and usually bi or straight, I’m thinking of hiring one as a “paid traveling companion.” What do you think?
Companion For Hire, Madison, WI
Dear For Hire,
If you’re looking for love, honey, it’s in all the wrong places. Strip clubs house strippers-slash-hustlers, which makes you their John-slash-sucker. Listen, healthy single men go to healthy places to meet other healthy singles, everyone else goes to strip clubs for fun, not to make business deals. If you’re serious, hire a “professional” with references by checking the internet like rentboy.com. Hiring escorts today is way more professional than 10 years ago, which makes much better business sense than pulling someone off a dance pole!
I always wake up happy and ready for the day, maybe cause I don’t drink coffee and go to bed early. But, my lover is constantly miserable for the first hour of the day. Help!
Morning Moans, Vancouver, BC
Dear Morning Moans,
Unfortunately, some people just wake up cranky, slow and/or in need of caffeine. So, for the first hour, pumpkin, just leave your lover alone! Use that hour to run a marathon, plan a vacation (from him/her) or plant vegetables for world peace. (My cartoon shows you a thing or two on this subject.)
I’m just a late person that’s all. But, I’m running out of excuses. Any hints?
Always Late, Philadelphia, PA
Dear Always Late,
Being late doesn’t need excuses, just early communication. Yet, if you lose all voice, hand and cellular access, try blaming it on: a traffic, train or subway accident; liquor store, florist or pharmacy line; car, computer or work problem; sick child, spouse or pet; fire, bomb threat or power outage; and, sweetie, the most popular: lost keys, got lost or lost track of time.
I met someone last week and had two great phone conversations, but, suddenly, no more calls. I’ve left messages. What now?
Call Me Please, Seattle, WA
Hello Call Me Please,
Sometimes people get busy or lazy, so, darling, you can only wait and read:
Trinity’s Sound Tips For Why It Has Nothing To Do With You When Your Date Doesn’t Call Back
1. She may think it’s best to wait a week or two before calling someone back. Some people just take their slow, sweet time (ugh).
2. He may not be able to deal with anyone right now because of mental, emotional, physical or spiritual problems. So, be glad you don’t have to deal with his problems either.
3. She may be dealing with an urgent matter, like a sick friend, relative or pet. So, it may be a week or so before you get a call.
4. He may not be able to find your number, address, email or the five business cards you gave him. So, after a week, call one last time.
5. She may be too busy with work, bills, family or self-indulgences. So, leave no more than two messages in one week’s time and stay busy.
6. He may have been hit by a car, maimed or died. So, don’t be too quick to think unkind thoughts.
7. She may have just used you for your charm, sexual ability and free meals. So, next time, don’t give ”it” away so fast and dine at cheaper places.
8. He may not want to tell you about his STDs. So, next time, have much safer sex and get tested if you think you need to.
9. She may not be interested and doesn’t know how to say it. So, if the sex was great, give thanks and move on.
10. Lastly, he may not want to disclose his other boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband and/or lover. So, welcome to the most common reason. : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.