Due
to the wonderful news that South Africa’s highest court has approved
gay marriage, I was tempted to eject another recent international news
item from my head. It was unpleasant and I wanted to forget about it,
much like the experience of trying on a bathing suit.
No can do. The news that the United Arab Emirates intends to inject gay
men with hormones is sticking with me like cellulite.
Police in that country raided a hotel and found a mass gay wedding unfolding,
complete with balloons, champagne, a dozen men dressed as brides and a
dozen more in male Arab attire. The celebrants, most of them from the Emirates,
were arrested and have undergone psychological evaluations.
If I’d just laid out big money for a wedding dress only to be thwarted,
I mean to tell you my psychological state would be on the ugly side.
Interior Ministry spokesman Issam Azouri told The Associated Press that
help is on the way for these men. The Ministry’s department of social
support will direct them away from the gay path. “Because they’ve
put society at risk they will be given the necessary treatment, from male
hormone injections to psychological therapies.”
Not the sort of wedding presents these guys were hoping for.
There’s also a good chance of lashings and years in jail. Thorough
fellas, these government officials.
The United Arab Emirates is not the first country to use bad science to “cure” homosexuals.
Shock therapy, castration, lobotomy and other treats were employed in this
country. Whether it’s the United States or the United Arab Emirates,
this is torture we’re talking about. To fix something that isn’t
broken.
So much fury wells up inside me when I think about this that an iron bathing
suit couldn’t hold it in.
I calm down some when I concentrate on the sheer stupidity of this attempt.
I’m no biology whiz, but even I know throwing hormones at these men
won’t do the trick. Officials in the Emirates perceive gay men as
being short on maleness, so they want to inject them with more. If it were
that simple, there would be “Homo No Mo’” clinics in
every city of the western world.
And then there was the reaction of my friend and chiropractor Kevin, a
gay man. When I told him of the plan to give gay men hormones, he replied, “That’ll
make the boys happy.” He explained that testosterone boosts muscularity
and sex drive. “Makes you strong like bull!” he laughed.
So the Interior Ministry will create men who are more chiseled and have
higher sex drives, but will still be gay. In other words, the Ministry
is making über-gay men!
Sometimes I think we should just turn this planet over to the animals.
Kevin had his own testosterone level checked a few years ago and discovered
it was off the chart. Yet he’s still a gay, merry fellow. I think
every man in the Interior Ministry should have his level checked. I expect
a number of them, straight as they doubtlessly are, would nonetheless turn
out to be a quart low.
The AP reported that an insider says the hormones will be given only with
the detainees’ consent. They can opt to take them before trial, or
if found guilty, they can take them to receive a lighter sentence. No,
the government’s not forcing them — just boxing them into a
very tight corner.
I wish I knew an old Arab saying for such a yucky deal. Something like, “Beware
the man who tries to sell you a desert in Brooklyn.”
info: LesRobinsn@aol.com • www.GeneralGayety.com |
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