Dear
Trinity,
My boyfriend of several months insists on staying at my place. I don’t
mind but he refuses to let me see his home, claiming the family he lives
with are total slobs. I respect his wishes, but I have a difficult time
trusting someone so secretive. Am I being obsessive or scammed?
Secrets, Pasadena, Calif.
Dear Secrets,
If you have to, insist on seeing where he lives. It’s been a few
months, you’re allowed. And if he still refuses, start making mental
notes of odd activities and do a little investigating like visiting his
work to make sure he’s for real. Everyone has secrets, honey, especially
adults. Don’t get too obsessive but do follow your intuition with
a bit of investigating.
Hello Trinity,
I’ve been dating a few guys at once. There’s nothing wrong
with it — is there?
Powerdating, Hoboken, N.J.
Hello Powerdating,
“Powerdating” — dating many people at once — is
as smart as shopping for the best-priced diamond. There’s not only
nothing wrong with it, sweetie, but I say, “You go girl/boy!” Knowing
how to date is way smarter than not dating or dating one loser at a time.
Hey
Trinity,
I went to the bar and met the greatest guy who charmed me for hours.
He gave me his number and insisted on talking in a couple days. Great,
right? Well I’ve called three times in a week and nothing. Is it
me, him, the bar or just bad karma?
Bar Karma, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.
Hey Bar Karma,
Yes it’s you, him, the bar and just bad karma. I know you want one
right answer but it’s many answers. Remember the four rules for “meeting
someone at the bar:” bar dates are rarely taken serious; after the
drinks wear off he/she may not remember you; bar flies love to charm and
sting; and lastly, yes, baby, sometimes the stars are just not in your
favor. Better luck next time.
Dearest
Trinity,
I vowed never to date a smoker again, but how do I do it this time without
sounding like a certified complainer?
Nonsmoker’s Hell, Cleveland, Ohio
Dearest Nonsmoker’s Hell,
Nonsmokers who date smokers eventually end up certified complainers. That’s
why you must start this relationship sharing:
Trinity’s “Never
To Do” Tips For Dating A Nonsmoker
1.
Never smoke in the house. The smell of smoke and lack of oxygen are as
torturous to a nonsmoker as being eaten by an alligator — slowly.
2. Never smoke in the car even if it’s a convertible. Nothing’s
worse than a romantic wind blowing through your hair while gasping for
air.
3. Never smoke in a restaurant because you’ll both have to sit in
the smoking (to death) section plus smoke, ashtrays and food are a gross
combination.
4. Never let it sit in the ashtray. Even if someone says, “It doesn’t
bother me.” It does. Keep the ashtray far away, hold it and blow
it far away as well.
5. Never assume your breath is OK. If you smoke it stinks, period. After
every cigarette swallow a mint and wash your smelly hands.
6. Never just brush your teeth. After every cigarette (if you’re
home) brush your teeth, tongue and upper palate where the tobacco lingers
most.
7. Never assume three’s company and two’s a crowd. Bringing
a cigarette on a date is like bringing a third person along.
8. Never let the outdoors fool you. Smoke is attracted to nonsmokers. So
smoke far away from them. (Trick: incense disguises smoke.)
9. Never assume only smokers get moody. Just like smokers get moody when
they can’t smoke, nonsmokers can get moody when they can’t
breathe.
10. Lastly, never take a nonsmoker to a smoking party without a nonsmoking
area. Being trapped in a group of smokers is no different than being trapped
in hell.
Don’t let your answers go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama and now performs globally.
<
