Where no gays have gone before

General Gayety

Brannon Braga, who produced many of the episodes and feature films in the “Star Trek” universe, told AfterElton.com that the franchise’s lack of gay characters was “a shame.” His new show, “Terra Nova,” so far also has no gay characters.

It doesn’t strike me as all that hard to include LGBT characters in televised science fiction. I’ll take a shot at a scene right now:

Int. Crossroads Bar, Planet of New Poughkeepsie, Evening

Captain Isabel Rodriguez and First Engineer Sue Tremaine, wearing work jumpsuits, drink Saturn Slings.

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Tremaine: I’ll never get over her.

Rodriguez: That’s what you said last time.

Tremaine: I’m repetitive. Sue me.

Rodriguez: What you are is addicted to the chase.

Tremaine: If I wanted psychoanalysis, I’d be drinking with the counselor from Pluto with three feet.

Rodriguez: Maybe you should take a break from women.

Tremaine: Not in this lifetime. And, if what the Oracle told me is true, not in the next one either.

Goosie the barkeeper stops at their table.

Goosie: Another round, ladies?

Rodriguez: No, thanks, Goosie. We have to work tomorrow.

Tremaine: Hey, Goose, I can’t tell if you’re a guy or a girl today.

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Goosie: Not too sure myself. Wait, it’s Tuesday. Guy.

He moves to the next table.

Tremaine: Hell of an interesting planet he comes from.

Rodriguez: It’s bedtime for me.

Tremaine: The night is young! Look, the Orion Express just unloaded. Visitors who’d love to be shown around by our fair captain.

Rodriguez: Stuff it.

Tremaine: Izzy, you haven’t been with a man or a woman since the Leberwurstians invaded.

Rodriguez: The tingling in my artificial nose says they’ll be back. I have to lead. Not love.

See? Adding LGBT characters opens a host of dramatic doors. Sci-fi creators need to beam us on board. : :

info: LesRobinson@aol.com . generalgayety.com

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