I met this guy at the bar and brought him home for some lovin’. Well, he turned into a sex pig, spitting, swearing, choking and more. I’m not vanilla, but when sex gets too dirty or painful it turns me off. How do you know if someone wants a “scene” rather than just good sex?
Sex Or X, Denver, CO
Hey Sex Or X,
With one-night stands, you have to take a stand. Just ask them, “What do you like and then listen for key words like, kissing, passion and affection verses bondage, spitting and raunch. Some people are way more X-rated and can easily make you feel vanilla for just wanting good ole sex. Honey, you really have to be clear before letting a complete stranger take you to his dungeon!
My lover and I don’t have sex anymore and I’m sure he’s cheating on me. Am I wrong if I cheat on him?
Sex, Lies And Cheating, Boston, MA
Hello Sex Lies And Cheating,
First of all, sex is a gift not a tool with which to punish someone. That only happens on afternoon soap operas (what’s left of them). So, yes, you’re wrong for cheating, even if your lover cheats on you. However, sweetie, you’re right to do something less dramatic, such as sit down together like two sane adults and talk about your problems. Either agree to try an open relationship or agree to separate for a while, but end the drama today! (My cartoon is a real tell-all, if you want to know what I’d do.)
I have a wonderful boyfriend. The only trouble is, he likes to take his shirt off at the club and therefore insists on shaving regularly. He looks great, but it’s so prickly! I’d prefer him au natural. How can I bring this up? It’s a sensitive manner?
Seriously Over Stubbled, Laguna Beach, CA
Before opening a can of worms, I always start with a bottle of wine. It sets the mood. Once he’s feeling tipsy, let him know how great he is, how much you love him and how much his shaving is making your love life “uncomfortable”! Pumpkin, if he loves you he’ll toss the razor. But, if he’s an egotistical, selfish, man with low self-esteem (like most men), he’ll never see your point, unless of course you do the same (hint, hint)!
I’m new to the dating scene. I just got out of a 10-year relationship to the only person I ever dated. Do you have any fast learning dating advice?
Back After 10 Years, Honolulu, HI
Dear Back After 10,
I’ve been working on a book, but it won’t be ready anytime soon. However, darling, an old TV series called “Sex In The City” pretty much covers it all. Take a weekend and rent the six seasons. But, for now, read:
Trinity’s 10 Most Critical Aspects of Dating (According To “Sex In The City”)
1. The most critical aspect of dating is sex. “Be good in bed!”
2. The second is, “have a stylish apartment and date people with style!”
3. The third, “when you start feeling something, it’s working!”
4. Fourth, “wait a while before talking about your exes.”
5. Fifth, “know that it all happens for a reason!”
6. Sixth, “there’s no such thing as easy. Even if your date is easy, easy doesn’t last forever!”
7. Seventh, “Accept that when a man’s not interested he’s just not interested!”
8. Eighth, “Just when you figure it all out, you may not have!”
9. Ninth, “The chances that it may not work out are far greater, especially when you don’t work at it.”
10. And, the last most critical aspect of dating is, “Dream, take
risks, tell it like it is and always try to look your best!” : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.