It’s been five years and I love my boyfriend. However, he’s selfish and as time goes on, he gets less and less eager to compromise. I’m beginning to feel like a doormat. What can I do?
My Way, Grand Rapids, MI
Hi My Way,
Today, in the me generation, selfish people are as common as overthrown Middle Eastern governments! Plus, if he’s the youngest child, was spoiled and/or is a Scorpio, then you’re in triple-selfish trouble. First, try getting him (with you) to volunteer at a hospital or gay youth center to open his mind to the needs of other’s. Second, try having “Selfless Day” at home so he can practice doing for you and vice versa. And, lastly, see if there are some books on selfish children. Pumpkin, if there aren’t, use this experience to write one!
My last date went ballistic about my driving “too crazy.” Isn’t that ridiculous? Why should I change the way I drive when someone else is in my car? It’s my car.
Driving Date-saster, LA, CA
Dear Driving Date-saster,
When you’re on a date, you are on a date, not on some Ironman competition reality show. Sorry, but you’re wrong to strap someone into a car seat and then show them who’s in control of their entire destiny. Driving with someone is totally different than driving alone, period. Be respectful, honey, toward your passenger’s comfort level at least until the second martini! (I’m in perfect control when I’m in the car as my cartoon suggests!)
My lover and I are very happy, but when it comes to orgasms it’s always him or me. Even though I’m a biologist, it’s hard to time our orgasms, which makes mutual satisfaction an issue. Help?
Timing’s Everything, Miami, FL
Hello Timing’s Everything,
Uncontrolled orgasms happen, but after a while you should have some idea of when both volcanos are going to erupt, especially if you’re a scientist. Listen, baby, when one of you gets “close,” shake off the blissful feeling and start practicing mutual eruptions. Sometimes you have to stop and play together in the heat of your own moment.
After three years with my husbear it happened, our sex life has hibernated. Is it inevitable or is there some trick?
Unsatisfied Bear, Boulder, CO
Sex with the same person is like eating at the same restaurant — it becomes undesirable after a while. That’s why, sweetie, restaurants change their menus every few years just like you must do, too. But, for now start reading:
Trinity’s Hot Tips For Keeping Sex and Desire Between You And Your Hubby
1. Try having sex in different rooms or places other than the bedroom. Lots can happen in the kitchen or shower, especially at a
2. Try different ways of doing the same thing, especially trying different sexual positions and/or being more aggressive.
3. Try different aphrodisiacs, such as scented oils, wine or herbs before laying down for sex.
4. Try different times of the day. Wake up early, go to bed early or try doing it in the afternoon.
5. Try clearing your mind during sex while focusing on naughty thoughts with your partner.
6. Try using all five senses differently, i.e. smelling and tasting new areas.
7. Try talking dirty to each other on the phone or the internet before getting together that night. Also, try talking dirty during sex (no laughing).
8. Try spraying nice scents into the air conditioner, on the bed and on your privates. It always works for me!
9. Try stimulating different erogenous zones, such as behind the knees and elbows, in the armpits or lower back and around the neck and feet.
10. Lastly, try not breaking up “again” just because the sex got boring “again”. Life is what you make it so make your sex life fun! : :
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