To Trinity,
I’m an attractive, fun, well-off gay man. I think I’m a catch, but I can’t seem to get a catch. What’s wrong with me?
Catcher Without A Catch, Atlanta, GA

To Catcher Without A Catch,
The only two reasons you might have troubles are, you don’t try very hard or you get rejected and stop trying. Many of us fear rejection, which runs our dating lives. If someone rejects you, then simply go on to the next possibility! Even if you fail over and over, next! Rejection is only a concept that lives in our head, it’s not physically real. Meeting and approaching men should be a fun game, an exercise of rejection and acceptance, not the final curtain. However, honey, if you’re aggressive and rejection’s not the problem, then ask friends to tell you if you smell or have a nervous twitch that frightens people.Next!

Dearest Trinity,
My father constantly says to me, “You’re not man enough. Act like a man. Be a man.” Trinity, what’s a man?”
Parent Trap, Seattle, WA

Dearest Parent Trap,
Courageousness, assertiveness, acting with diplomacy and walking with pride, no matter what the situations are, is what makes you a man! Being real, honest and a good cook also make a man. So, no matter what he says, if you have pride in yourself while chasing after your dreams, then you’ll be the man we all look up to. Parents are not easy, pumpkin, especially when they want us to fulfill the insecurities they inherited from their parents. (I can sure show you how this plays out in my cartoon.)

Dear Trinity,
My partner and I have a boy Friday. He’s a great worker, but extremely slow. And, we love him. How do we get him to move faster without losing him?
Boy Friday Troubles, Reno, NV

Dear Boy Friday Troubles,
Maybe something’s slowing him down, like old appliances or the order in which his chores are laid out. If that doesn’t work, give him a salary instead of hourly. Thus, if he gets sixty bucks for four hours, just offer him the sixty bucks whether he’s done early or not. If he knows that he can finish early with the same pay then he may work faster. Later, you can slowly up his chores. And, if all else fails, sweetie, always have a fresh brewed cup of strong java for the little turtle when he arrives and shove it down his little, lazy throat.

Hi there Miss Trinity,
My Valentine’s Day resolution is to start dating again. But, going to bars or clubs is just not my scene. The drinking, smoking, noise and oversexed atmosphere make it too difficult to meet anyone worth dating. Any suggestions?
Bar-fly No More, Buffalo, NY

Hi there Bar-fly No More,
Let’s see now, I know I have a list somewhere under my bed of places to meet potential dates. Ah, yes, darling, here is:

Trinity’s Creative Tips For Capturing A Date

1. Go to the beach and stay a while. (No big hats!)
2. Hang out in cafes or coffee shops. (No more than two cups of coffee at one time!)
3. Throw a party or get invited to one and talk to everyone! (No getting drunk!)
4. Join a gym or finally go to the one you joined last year! (No high sox or bright yellow tank tops.)
5. Get onto or into the infinite internet chat rooms. (Beware of false information.)
6. Answer some personal ads in the newspapers. (Beware of prison addresses.)
7. Join a dating service. They are helpful and fun. (Don’t let the questions scare you.)
8. Ask friends and relatives to set you up on some dates. (Don’t let the bad dates scare you.)
9. Go to fundraisers or benefits. Guaranteed to work! (Don’t let the pretension scare you.)
10. Lastly, hit some religious services! There are plenty of dates there! (Don’t let the fanatics scare you!) : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.

info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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