Dear Trinity,
Recently, a guy I’ve been dating just told me he did drag. He’s so masculine. I never suspected it. I’m afraid that seeing him in drag will ruin my sexual attraction for him. What should I do?
Drag Doubts, Minneapolis, MN

Dear Drag Doubts,
When someone does drag, they’re releasing/embracing their inner feminine qualities, leaving behind, in many cases, a more masculine man. Drag is also a form of art. So, fear not the Van Gogh that lives within your new date. Your higher power obviously put you two together for a reason. So, darling, if you want this relationship to work, then ready or not, you’ll have to watch him get dressed, dress him yourself or even more profoundly, do drag with him!

To Trinity,
My boss is very picky about me being late. I’m usually only five or so minutes late once in a while. How can I get my boss to be more cool about time?
Mr. Easy, San Antonio, TX

To Mr. Easy,
A few years ago I figured out that it’s completely unstressful to be a few minutes early compared to the high stress of being a few minutes late. When you want to grow up and play with the big players, with the ones that have made their lives really fly, then your word will have to become like a contract. Sweetie, once you have integrity, which means having your promise be better than a contract, then you’ll stop being late, stop making your boss wrong for keeping you to your word and you’ll suddenly find yourself with fewer bosses standing over you and more employees working under you! (See how I handle this when you take a “timely” look at my cartoon.)

Dearest Trinity,
I want to go to the gym and start working out, but I’m so skinny. I feel like a fool in those places.
Not Charles Atlas, Syracuse, NY

Dearest Not Charles Atlas,
We all have to start somewhere. A trainer, if you can afford it, always draws attention away from you and will get you started on the right foot. Also, if you’re overly eager to look the part, muscle tank tops and baggy plaid gym pants are not a good start. If you’re as skinny as you say, then shorts, a clean T-shirt and ankle socks will do just fine for starters. Exercise on a regular basis is fabulous for one’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. If you work hard at it, you’ll be very surprised. However, honey, if five months goes by and you still don’t look like, lets say Bill Goldberg, then I’ve got a great plastic surgeon on Fifth Avenue. You’ll love him, I do! Just do it!

Hello Trinity,
It seems that most of my houseguests who stay for a few days seem to never show their appreciation, if you know what I mean. Not even a box of cookies! Is it wrong to expect gifts of appreciation from a houseguest?
House Guest Horrors, Cleveland, OH

Hello House Guest Horrors,
According to ancient Greek and Hebraic traditions, it was wrong to expect gifts from an overnight guest, but, for a second, third or fourth night guest, it was also customary to receive gifts of appreciation. So, pumpkin, since I can’t find that chapter in my Apollo Wasserman’s “Uranus Or My Knish: Tales of Greek & Hebraic Hospitality Ethics,” here’s a poem I wrote, to post on your guest room mirror.

House Guest Proverb
When one’s door knock becomes a one night guest
The door must you open and give no test.
When two nights pass and to stay is their will,
Fruits and flowers must they offer to fill your till!
When a third or fourth night still finds them abed,
A fancy dinner must they host else off with their head!
But when one week passes a guest no more,
For compensation must be presented or show them the door!
—Trinity

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.

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