A few months ago I met a guy on the internet who lives in another state. We talk on the phone a lot, but we’ve never met. Now, I am falling in love and I want to tell him. Is this a good idea?
Falling in Love, Wichita, KS
Love at first sight, yeah, but love at first internet photo or first voice? And, now you’re in love? Without seeing him? Listen, pumpkin, fall in love, but don’t break your neck in the fall. Before you tell him that you love him, you first must meet him, touch him and see him. That’s all I ask. He could be the voice of your dreams, but filled with so many nightmares. So, get on a plane, bus, boat or car and go meet him first. Seeing and touching is believing!
My lover and I of four years have become very comfortable with each other, so comfortable that I no longer “turn her on,” as she puts it. I know I’m not the sexiest dresser alive, but shouldn’t she love me for what’s inside, not outside?
Un-Dolled Up, Winston-Salem, NC
To Un-Dolled Up,
There comes a time in every St. Valentines Day massacre, I mean, relationship when two people say, “I love you no matter what.” But you still have to spend your life trying to turn her on, impress her and show her she is special! As Dr. Ruth puts it, “You must keep ‘za’ flame alive.” Any good chef knows it’s about presentation and taste! Listen, sister, you must keep trying new ways to present yourself, to keep the flame alive. How would you like it if your favorite restaurant changed from filet mignon to spam? (I can show you how to turn heads if you check out my cartoon.)
I’m 50 and still in the closet. I want to come out, but I don’t want to hurt my friends and family. I also have not been with anyone in 12 years. I want love, but I push everyone away.
Wanting What I Can’t Have, Chicago, IL
Somewhere you learned to fear your God-given gift of being gay. And, you learned to push potential lovers away who challenge that. Remember Alexander the Great or Joan of Arc. They said, “I’m queer! Now deal with it world.” You not only must come out as part of your deep, spiritual destiny, but you must accept that being gay is like winning the lottery, like finding out you’re a Rockefeller or Marilyn Monroe’s illegitimate son. Honey, the world is your oyster and being gay is your pearl. Come out and claim it!
You should think about teaching classes or giving lectures. But, my question is, if you had your own finishing school, what would you teach?
Admirer, Philadelphia, PA
I’ve given lectures and taught classes, but finishing school? Darling, I love the idea. So, here are:
Trinity’s Finishing School Tips From Head To Toe
1. Walk with your head up high, not your nose. Beware of nose hair.
2. Going for a job interview? Hair up. Going on a first date? Hair down.
3. A splash of cologne is a nice touch. Smelling like a department store is way too much.
4. Mile for mile, good looks run second place next to class, charm and style.
5. Going to buy milk? Dress down. Going on the town? Dress up.
6. A wanton tongue brings home sour fortune cookies.
7. If cleavage is meek, a pushup bra promises much more than a free drink.
8. Obviously, it’s all about you. But saving that fact until much later helps make one equal two.
9. Flats are fine when with husband and child, but heels turn heads for miles and miles.
10. If you think that finishing school finishes, then you’re never finished with finishing school. : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.