Hey Trinity,
I slept with my best friend’s partner. It just happened! Now, the partner wants to do it again and is being very persistent. Help!
Caught In A Triangle, Miami, FL

Hey Caught In A Triangle,
Here’s a little tale called, “How Grown-Ups Deal with Life.” Grown-ups mess up, make bad investments and sometimes drive too fast. And, occasionally, they have an extramarital affair. But, grown-ups do one thing different than little children, they learn from their mistakes! That’s what helps grown-ups, grow up! So, darling, if a married person asks you to be part of their extramarital affair, a one-word answer is all you need, “No!”

Dearest Trinity,
I really like this girl, so I call her and she calls me. But, then she says, “You sometimes call too much.” So, I stopped. And, then she says, “You don’t call enough!” What is too much or not enough?
Confused, Detroit, MI

Dearest Confused,
She sounds like an air sign to me. Always remember, in relationships no one wins or loses, it’s about playing the game. The best thing to do is follow your instincts, practice being secure in your thoughts, tell her she confuses you when she does, and don’t start taking pills to control your anxiety. Oh, and lastly, pumpkin, never call when you have nothing to say, you’re in a hurry or it’s very early in the morning. (Some really smart advice can be gathered when you take a look at my cartoon.)

Hello Trinity,
I just started going to the gym with a new guy I started dating, but it seems like what I wear is different than everyone else. I also think I’m being stared at. What’s up?
Gym 101, District of Columbia

Hello Gym 101,
If you’re forgetting that styles change and we must keep up with the times, then here’s how to win. Sneakers, socks, shorts, or sweat pants and a T-shirt will fit you right in. Unless those socks are rolled up to your knees, (out of style since the ’90s), your T-shirt is more like a muumuu (out of style since the ’80s), your shorts are way to tight (out of style since the ’70s), or you smell like a deodorant commercial (out of style since the ’60s). Got the picture, honey?

Dear Trinity,
Now that I’m single once again, I find that having one-night stands is not so uncommon. But, I’m out of practice. Any ideas?
One Night Stand, Plymouth, MA

Dear One Night Stand,
I haven’t experienced a one-night stand in years, well, months, alright weeks. OK, it’s been at least two sunsets and a booze cruise. So, sweetie, here are:

Trinity’s Fast Tips For Being An Excellent One-Night Stand
1. Be prepared for an overnight guest, just in case this one’s not like the rest.
2. You may be “Romeo of the Night,” but, please, in the morning be just as polite!
3. If at 12 a.m. you suddenly start a crush, at 2 a.m. you may have to rush.
4. Soft music, candles and a clean, comfortable bed promises more than a just peck on the forehead.
5. If on their skin you must leave a mess, use a hot towel to wipe them off. They deserve nothing less.
6. Keeping lubricants, contraceptives and hand towels close by, leaves a lot more time to moan and sigh.
7. If caught with a screamer, a moaner or even a yeller, use pillows, loud music or do it in the cellar!
8. If ever you’re thinking, “I’m not good enough,” act proud, have fun, even fake it just this once.
9. If it’s late at night and she’s too drunk to drive, her safety and well being must be part of your sex drive.
10. When the bumping and grinding has reached a home run, a little hugging and caressing makes the evening much more fun. : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.

info:
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Trinity@telltrinity.com
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