I’ve been ill for months now. And, I’ve been telling my primary doctor that I know what’s wrong with me. But, he keeps saying, “The tests don’t prove it.” But, I’m sure I know what’s happening to me. What do I do?
No Relief, Chattanooga, TN
Dear No Relief,
People of authority, i.e., ministers, doctors, judges and queens, don’t always have the right answer and/or do the right thing. Remember the joke, “What’s the difference between God and a doctor? God knows he’s not a doctor.” You must realize that you may know more about yourself than your doctor. Not everyone with more credentials than you knows more about you than you. So, honey, go get some more opinions until you can get the results you need. Don’t give in, but rather give ‘em hell!
I’ve been with the same person for years. We have a nice life, but our sexual experiences have diminished with time. How can I make our life more sensual, before it ends up senseless?
Too Practical, Santa Barbara, CA
Hey Too Practical,
Everything, everyone and every relationship eventually needs new chains and chokers, I mean changes and challenges. Like a home that needs to be redecorated every so often, so does a relationship. When I want to make a good relationship even better, I add some adventure into our lives. And, sometimes, sweetie, that means giving your nice life a naugty twist! Think sexy. Think naughty. Think outside the box. And, think tight uniforms. (Marriage! It’s like the “Tale of Two Cities” — the best of times and the worst of times. Check it out via my cartoon.)
After a year of dating the same guy, I’m getting more and more uncomfortable with the fact that he still lives and owns a home with his ex-lover. Am I crazy for being concerned that their friendship could cause future problems in our relationship?
Crazy/Concerned, Provincetown, MA
Feeling concerned about anything is healthy and normal. Never avoid your feelings. It’s not uncommon in gay life that ex-couples stay friends, roommates and even business/property owners. So, don’t become a rifle-swinging madman over their relationship. However, if they also share a bed, vacations and leather accessories, then I’d call a mortician, I mean a meeting between you and the guy you’re dating. But, for now, accept their strong friendship. Pumpkin, there will always, be problems to deal with and hopefully this wont be one of them!
For the first time in my life, someone I once dated is stalking me. It’s now affecting everything I do. I’m even having nightmares! Help!
Stalking Dilemma, Montréal, QC
Dearest Stalking Dilemma,
Being stalked is awful. It’s ruined people’s lives. So, darling, besides getting a watchdog try reading:
Trinity’s Strategic Tips For Being Stalked
1. First, be very clear and direct. Be tough, stern and aggressive. Insist that he/she stop stalking you!
2. Continually use the word stalking whenever you deal with this person!
3. Tell the authorities. Making a report today may save you the burden of proof tomorrow.
4. If you get letters, threaten to publicly print these letters and/or send them to everyone connected to this stalker.
5. Get support from a councilor, a big, tough thug and/or a security alarm!
6. Be strategic and creative! Say things that turn this person off to you emotionally and sexually, i.e. my herpes sores are out of control.
7. Unfortunately, you may have to change your phone number(s) and possibly your address.
8. Call all of his/her friends and family to let them know what is happening. Tell them to do something or you will see them all in court!
9. Go to his/her workplace and publicly make a big scene!
10. Lastly, don’t let yourself get as obsessed as your stalker. Try to conduct your life in as normal a fashion as possible, until it’s over! : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.