Recently, I got a letter, which said:
I have a 27-year-old son who is gay and I love him very much. He now wants to have a sex change operation. This is something I am having an awful time dealing with. I feel you’d understand this situation somewhat better than me.
Son Troubles, Baltimore, MD
I asked you, my readers to help me answer this question and this is what you said. At the end of each letter I will give my answers.
Transexuality is something that should not be discussed in a free publication. There are special magazines that deal with these social outcasts. I’m sorry for this man and his troubles, but Trinity, if you’re going to have an advise (sic) column, then print things that are socially conscious, not sexually deviant.
Concerned Citizen, Kansas City, MO
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Social outcasts? Sexual deviants? Well, let me remind you, darling, about the Native American tribes where transgender people, Two Spirits and Brave Hearts, were revered as the highest of spiritual teachers and leaders. These trans men and women kept the culture and rituals alive, raised the children, took care of the men during battles and often acted as the diplomats between warring tribes. So, next time you want to stop free speech and free expression, then go to a book burning ceremony rather than to Tell Trinity. Love not fear!
Hello Son Troubles,
I’m a transgendered entertainer in my early 20s. My family still has difficulty with my lifestyle and my father and I do not speak. Anyone who has interest in changing their sex has to come to that decision on their own. Parents should love and support their children in anything they do when trying to develop themselves as happy human beings. One can only decide what path to take in life by one’s self. But having support from loved ones, lights the way when it is dark.
Unsigned, Dallas, TX
Love and support, especially from parents, is paramount in life and in every situation. It does light the way in the darkness. Unfortunately, supporting one’s child when the child is going against everything the parent is taught is unbelievably hard for a parent. But, isn’t life a lesson in unconditional love? (Peaceful villages are a better place to live. My cartoon sure shows this.)
Dearest Son Troubles,
In the end, as a parent you must love your son and stand by him no matter what. So, get support for him and yourself through these tough times. Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians (PFLAG) is in every major city. They have not only focused on outreach to trans people and to their families for some time now, but they also have excellent materials, which are available through the internet. Just type in “PFLAG” and that will bring you to all the info. Call them for support. Good luck.
Concerned Parent, Boston, MA
Dearest Concerned Parent,
This is excellent advice. PFLAG is a great organization. Moreover, love your son until it alters your entire perception of everything you know. Honey, we must allow our children, as best we can to expand our understanding of what is right, not use our children to prove ourselves right. Love conquers all.
Dear Son Troubles,
I’m a Christian who empathizes with your problem. If it were my son, I’d put him into therapy and take him away from his environment. Furthermore, the Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality and cross-dressing remains unmistakable. The Bible is clear. All sex outside of heterosexual marriage is a sin. However, those who acknowledge their sin will find forgiveness through our Lord.
Empathize, Louisville, KY
I always give thanks for the plethora of cultural diversity that lives in our land. And, yes, I do agree, anyone who wants to undertake a major life change should absolutely seek counseling, whether it be marriage, work, sex, etc. And, yes, I also think that before making a major life change one should take a break. Get away and clear your thoughts. But, pumpkin, while the Bible definitely is an interpretive piece of work, it definitely is not clear on homosexuality and does not mention transexuality anywhere. If you send me a copy of the passage that mentions “transexuality” I’ll march down the center of my hometown with a zucchini sticking out of every orifice of my body while singing “Proud Mary.” : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.