Hey Trinity,
I’ve been going to gay clubs for years. But it seems like the smoke is worse than ever. It makes me so angry when everyone knows the consequences of smoking. Where else am I going to meet the man of my dreams?
Smoke Free Guy, Wilton Manors, FL

Hey Smoke Free Guy,
Cigarette smoke does seem like “smoker’s revenge” to those of us who like clubs, but don’t smoke. Many U.S. states have no smoking rules, but not every gay man lives in these states. Pumpkin, let’s try hanging out at outside bars. Let’s try joining a spiritual, educational, athletic or hobby group. And, lastly, let’s try raising your consciousness as to where you will find the man of your dreams. The more adventurous you are in finding a man, the more adventurous that man will be. Go get ‘em!

My Dear Trinity,
Life’s awful! My girlfriend unexpectedly died a few months ago. I lost my job. And, now my rent’s going up. I often think about checking out of life! Why is life so awful?
Discouraged, Reno, NV

My Dear Discouraged,
Life, the big banquet between birth and death, always has shortfalls and climaxes. I see life like a heartbeat monitor. When the beat is up, everything looks like a “Night at the Oscars.” When the beat is down, everything looks like a Holocaust Museum tour. The trick is riding the downbeat knowing that the upbeat will absolutely return. Sweetie, you must rest assured that the heartbeat monitor will rise to the celebration of your life again. For now, repeat five times a day, “I trust the process of life.” And, “This too shall pass.” (Try to heed my warning by reading my cartoon.)

Dear Trinity,
I’m not a gay man, but I often get looked at and approached by gay men. What can I do to stop it?
Straight, Cleveland, OH

Dear Straight,
We should all have such problems! I asked a few of my non-gay friends what they do and this is what they said. “Why stop it? It’s a compliment. Anytime a gay guy flirts with me, I flirt back for a while and then I tell him ‘I’m straight. It’s cool!’” Others say, “I’m an attractive woman. It happens! I love it.” So, darling, if you absolutely feel the need to stop these culturally enlightened beings from wanting to know you or appreciate you then stop putting so much mousse in your hair, stop dressing so impeccably and stop being so polite. And, if that doesn’t work, then wear a wedding ring, puka beads or those tacky K-Mart flip flops.

Hello Trinity,
My partner and I have now had a third person enter our relationship. We are all new to the “threesome” way of life. Any advice?
Threesome, Los Angeles, CA

Hello Threesome,
I suppose the name Trinity does imply that I have some insight into things relating to threes. Unfortunately, MTV and VH1 specials are the only place where I’ve seen threesome relationship stories. You are one of many, but still in the minority, thus you must create the rules as you go along. So, honey, look for books on the subject, or even better, be the one who writes, “The First Book on Threesomes.” But, for now here’s:

Trinity’s Practical Tips For A Threesome Relationship

1. A king size bed and a spare room is a must.
2. Make friends (just friends) with other threesome couples.
3. Honor each other’s secrets and/or privacy! Adults have secrets!
4. Always cook extra.
5. Accept that all of your family may not understand.
6. Every three months sit down and renegotiate the rules.
7. Take vacations, as well as personal time alone.
8. Play Trinity’s CD’s while making love. Available on my website.
9. Stay in the moment. The future is not here yet.
10. Take plenty of notes for our, I mean, your book. : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.

www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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