After 15 years with my partner, I have kept my extra love affairs to myself. But, lately, I feel guilty that my partner is so innocent, honest and monogamous. However, I know my partner will leave me the second I tell the truth! I am trapped between good and evil. What do you think?
Truth or Dare, Albany, NY
Hello Truth or Dare,
Now, I know I’ve seen this question somewhere. Ah, here it is in the book called, “How To Screw Up A Great Thing With Your Big Mouth!” In the chapter called “Ruining Someone’s Life” it says here that, “When you tell someone you love, something that will ruin their life, then you must decide between ruining it or not! Thus, if it ain’t broken don’t break it, just to fix it!” Remember, sweetie, adults have secrets and children tell their parents everything!
Vacationing at gay-friendly resorts is something I’ve done for years. But, now gay resorts seem more like body building competitions. What happened to celebrating diversity?
The Last Resort, Atlanta, GA
Being comfortable in your own skin and letting others be comfortable in theirs is definitely a powerful gift. Yet, I understand that as competition for the “sexiest” package continues to be paramount in the gay community, whether to embrace it or embargo it continues to be a dilemma! So, for now, darling, you be your gay self and let others be their gay selves and I promise you will be the better for it! It may be time for you to embrace diversity! (I sure try my little you know what off as you can see in my cartoon.)
I’ve been dating the same guy every day for the past two weeks. He’s visiting from out of state and has a boyfriend he calls his roommate. Now, he tells me he “can’t live without me” and I feel the same. I don’t sleep or go anywhere without my cell phone. Help?
Not Sleeping, Ann Arbor, MI
Dear Not Sleeping,
Listen closely to these key words, “out of state,” “boyfriend,” “two weeks,” “can’t live without you!” These words scream dysfunction, disappointment and heartbreak! Honey, you’re about to be awarded the crown for a contest called, “America’s Most Dysfuntional” and you’re not even aware that you entered it! So, keep repeating after me, “Snap out of it! Start living again! This is not real. This is just a moment in time that will end. Stay centered and in control.”
I’m new to the dating game and I’m having trouble figuring out what the “bases” are. Any suggestions for someone new to the baseball/dating game?
Bases Loading, Madison, WI
While most baseball games have just three bases, the dating game has a few more. So, here are:
Trinity’s Major League Bats, Balls and Bases for the Dating Game
Batter Up: Start with a smart or seductive nod or gesture, but no jumping up and down!
Approach Field: Say more than just, “Hello!” And, don’t be arrogant!
Test Swing: Invite your new acquaintance for “Coffee?”, “Tea?” or “A little bit of me!”
Take Position: Placing one hand on their shoulder, knee or arm will let you know if they are charmed or alarmed!
Ball One: Make plans to seduce…I mean to see each other again!
Ball Two: Have a first and second date to lunch or dinner.
Ball Three: Invite your date home for a drink, to taste your “special” brownies or a mini massage. But, don’t reveal your S&M dungeon, just yet!
Steal First: Sharing a bottle of wine and making lots of toasts promises that you’ll be, “The host getting the most!”
Steal Second and Third: Finally, it’s time for groping, grabbing, necking and throwing each other down…I mean rolling around!
Homerun: All out, uninhibited, (but protected) sex, including sound effects, role playing and a ticker-tape parade! : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.