How do you know if a relationship is going to last or die?
Lasting Or Last One, Flint, MI
Hey Lasting Or Last One,
Relationships truly have no guarantees, not even in court. A relationship may last a day or a lifetime. Also, a relationship that does work only really works one-day-at-a-time anyway. People cheat, runaway, get sick, go crazy, they even die. So, darling, make the best of each day and each relationship. Oh, and always keep some vodka on hand because sometimes all you need is a good stiff martini.
I recently was called a “stalker.” What’s the difference between stalking someone and just being aggressive in a healthy way? I thought I knew the difference.
Stalk Talk, Dallas, TX
Hello Stalk Talk,
People love attention, but only at their own pace. Courting someone means giving him or her a choice… and some candy. Stalking someone means taking their choice away and making their life sour. It also means making yourself a criminal. So, pumpkin, when you hear “no” a third time and you’re still obsessing, it’s time for therapy not another stalking tactic. (See how I came to this rationale when you check out my cartoon.)
After a year of serious dating and recently fighting a lot, my boyfriend now, “just wants to be friends until we stop fighting.” Can we be friends? Can I get him back? And how do I not go crazy?
Fighting Or Friends, Wichita, KS
Hey Fighting Or Friends,
When two people are constantly fighting, one eventually must make a dramatic move in order to save everyone. Thus, being “friends” for a while may be healthier than you think. Now, instead of focusing on the word “friends” think “lovers working things out.” Before going crazy, let yourself go and celebrate that he’s trying “friendly” ways to work things out. Oh, and, honey, invite him on some “friendly” dates so he and you can remember why you started dating in the first place. Hint, hint!
I met someone about 10 days ago. We slept together and went out a few times. I know that he is definitely not my type for many reasons. How do I kindly tell him I want out?
Getting Out Kindly, Montreal, Canada
Dearest Getting Out Kindly,
This task has never been easy for anyone. So, sweetie, sit down and start rehearsing:
Trinity’s Kind Tips For Breaking Up With Someone (including the unkind truth)
1. I can’t go out with you anymore because… I’m still in love with my ex (who’s been dead for three years)!
2. I have to end our relationship because…I’m having some personal problems that need attention (including having to deal with you)!
3. I’ve decided to stop dating right now because…I just found out that I’m changing jobs and moving soon (like in the next five years)!
4. I must take a break from “us” because…you’re too good for me (at being unattractive, negative and distasteful)!
5. I need to stop dating for a while because…I have some health needs that I want to focus on (like the way I feel when I’m near you)!
6. I don’t want to date you right now because…I feel like you’re very different than me (and most other humans)!
7. I want to wait before dating more because…I’m not ready to get involved with anyone right now (especially you)!
8. I must stop seeing you because… I don’t feel like it’s working right now (or ever)!
9. I would like to take a breather from dating because…I’m really not getting what I need (like anything at all)!
10. Lastly, I want to stop seeing you for a bit because…this is not what I had hoped for (i.e. boredom, bad sex and lousy conversations)! : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.