I’m an honest, hard working, well-rounded guy with lots to offer. But, I have a terrible fear of going over and talking to someone I’m interested in. Isn’t there an easier way to play “the game?”
Stalemate, Wichita, Kansas
The “pick up” game is truly all about one thing, fear (or love) of rejection, which can destroy (or embrace) this first act of talking to a cute, sexy, hunky…well, stranger. However, you must remember: a) rejection is only a psychological concept and not physically real and b) approaching someone must be treated like playing “The Rejection Game.” In other words make believe you’re practicing “getting rejected” rather than neurotically needing to “get accepted.” Once you master “The Rejection Game” you’ll figure out that rejection (or acceptance) has nothing to do with you, but rather someone’s own selfish and simple fantasies. Sometimes you’ll be ignored, sometimes abhorred and at other times adored, though, pumpkin, eventually you must become the master of your own game, not a slave to some other fool’s fear of being rejected first.
I mean, really, do I have to be ashamed of my excessive promiscuity? Isn’t there enough shame in the world? Can’t I just be a shameless slut?
Slut Pride, Provincetown, Mass.
Hello Slut Pride,
Just for the record, shame is lack of self-love and excessive promiscuity is often related to an excessive lack of not being touched. Now with that said, I must ask, when you’re a “shameless slut” are you loveless and touchless or full of love, passion and compassion? Being a slut, sweetie, is nothing to be too ashamed of unless, of course, you do it shamelessly. (My cartoon can show you all about this dilemma.)
I’m seeing a guy who “only wants sex not a date.” Is it OK to just have a “sex-date” or “sex-mate” and also date on the side?
Sex Date, Baton Rouge, La.
Dearest Sex Date,
It’s great to get “it” and even greater if it’s on a regular basis. Yet, if he has no interest in offering you a future, then absolutely get out and date with fury. Yes, keep him for fun, yet don’t get lazy because of him, remember keep dating. Seriously, honey, until you find Mr. DreamDate, it’s healthy and acceptable to have someone to fall back on…or under!
Gay marriage is much harder than I imagined. I want to keep my commitment vows, but it seems to be a constant uphill climb?
Keeping Your Vows, Stanford, Ct.
Dear KY Vows,
Commitment to anyone or anything means work, work and more work. But, darling, to keep it more fulfilling try:
Trinity’s Smooth Tips For Keeping Your Marriage/Commitment Vows
1. Being selfish means trouble. Stop it, grow up and realize you’re not single anymore.
2. Being righteous or stubborn means taking the joy out of a relationship. Why not say, “yes” as often as possible.
3. Getting outside help with cooking, cleaning or organizing means you’ll both be free from fighting about these things.
4. Second guessing means trying to fulfill unspoken needs. It doesn’t mean psychologically beating your spouse up for not being physic.
5. Listening to someone’s problems means making time to listen even when you don’t want to and sometimes even getting professional help.
6. Sharing does not mean constantly talking about every little problem, worry or secret you have.
7. Having integrity means being a person of your word and taking responsibility for your actions.
8. Love often means having to say, “I’m sorry!” even when you’re not.
9. Letting go of “the little things” means
you’ll have a much happier life enjoying bigger things.
10. Lastly, fighting does not mean “It’s over.” It means, “Go away for now and when I’m ready we’ll make up.”
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307
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