Dearest Trinity,
I’ve been following your column for years now. You’re so wise! How can I acquire wisdom and common sense like you?
Wanting Wisdom, Spokane, WA

Dearest Wanting Wisdom,
While age and experience should bring wisdom and common sense, it often brings stubbornness, righteousness and negative reactions to unfamiliar ideas. If you want wisdom and common sense then a) study “it” in school, b) take risky adventures in search of “it” and/or c) go on a spiritual journey to find “it.” You must also be willing to d) unlearn all that you have learned about “it,” e) let yourself relearn what you’re learning about “it” and f) get burned on your journey finding “it!” Pumpkin, you didn’t really think this was going to be easy or make sense, did you?

Dear Trinity,
I am having an awful time dealing with my lover’s jealous outbursts. He says, “Latin men are typically jealous!” OK, I used to think it was cute, but now it’s making me insane! Help!
Jealousy Jail, Philadelphia, PA

tt_402_032814Dear Jealousy Jail,
Many men, including Latin men, do destroy themselves and their relationships with jealousy. Maybe it’s insecurity, maybe it’s cultural or maybe it’s just having too much time on one’s hands. So, honey, if you’ve tried letting your lover know he’s “too much!” and letting him know he’s “out of line!” then threaten to take him to a place where obsessive, insecure people play together, like the psych ward of a mental hospital! (My cartoon sure can show this in spades. Check it out!)

Hey Trinity,
I’m going on a second date and I don’t want to act too excited or too nervous. Any second date suggestions so I don’t blow it?
Second Date, Oklahoma City, OK

Hey Second Date,
Going on a first date means being inquisitive, polite and calm. Going on a second date means all that as well, plus this time be even more comfortable about what you say and do, testing the waters a little. Oh, and slipping in a little kiss this time wouldn’t hurt either. Also, sweetie, remember, don’t talk excessively about your problems, don’t act overly self-assured and don’t give away all your private “property” just yet! Good Luck!

Hello Miss Trinity,
My partner says I worry too much. I think it’s hereditary. Any thoughts on how to worry less?
Worrying Less, Green Bay, WI

Hello Worrying Less,
Worrying is a deep tradition passed down from generation to generation. It is not easy to erase centuries of worrying unless of course, darling, you try these:

Trinity’s Trouble-free Tips For Dealing With Worrying
1. Listen to Pharrell Williams’ “Happy.” And, don’t listen to depressing love songs like Miley’s “Wrecking Ball!”
2. Worrying creates negative possibilities! When you worry, you manifest negative karma and scenarios for the universe to bring into fruition.
3. Let your mother worry for you. That’s why we have mothers!
4. Take deep breaths, exercise, get plenty of rest and have a glass of wine now and then. It’ll do you wonders!
5. Don’t think about what worries you! If you can distract a child you can distract yourself.
6. If your troubles today won’t matter a year from now, then what the hell are you worrying about it now for?
7. Get physically away from what worries you. Go to the beach, the movies or take a walk in the park. Get you mind away from your troubles.
8. You don’t really think that by worrying you will change the outcome. Give your worries away to a higher power. Let it go!
9. Don’t let your thoughts take you on an insane journey alone! Talk to friends about what worries you. Get support.
10. Lastly, instead of using words like “I hope” use “I’m sure,” instead of “I wonder” use “I know” and instead of “I’ll kill him for staying out” use “I trust that bastard!”

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.