My sister gets on my case about my one-night stands. When I tell her it’s normal for men, she guilt-trips me. Should I feel guilty?
Guiltless, Wilmington, DE
One-night stands are commonly thought of as naughty and unholy acts that take place late at night when two people are drunk and dancing with the devil. You and I both know that this isn’t true because we watched “Sex and the City” all those years. However, while it is adventurous and normal, it can also leave you empty and confused, which we also learned from “Sex and the City.” Honey, if your body is your temple and life is your spiritual path, then have guiltless one-night stands when it feels right, not when you need to prove you can score the hottest babe or stud! Well, maybe that’s not such a bad reason?
After five years together, I was dumped for someone else and I’m very angry. I want my ex to pay. How should I get revenge on someone for promising everything, then leaving me a bachelor?
Lost In Bachelorhood, Cheyenne, WY
Hey Lost In Bachelorhood,
I can respect your anger, but I would also, as quick as possible, let him suffer in his loss…of you. The best revenge, baby, is living your life even greater than it was before and leaving him to stew in envy of your new, gorgeous freedom. That should be your revenge! (Follow my lead after you take a long, reflective look at my cartoon, baby!)
I am so stressed out about dating. All that work getting ready, hoping they show up, saying the right thing, then that awkward moment when we have to kiss goodbye. I wish two people could just meet and marry!
Stressed, New Hope, PA
Boy, you’re stressing me out, too! Dating, like life, is stressful, challenging and very complicated, but that’s life and that’s also the growth, the experience and the journey of dating. So, pumpkin, breathe, have a glass of wine and say yes to life, yes to dating…and yes to therapy!
My best friend says, “I don’t read his signals” when we are out at a bar. What the hell signals should I read?
Signal Stumped, Montgomery, AL
Hey Signal Stumped,
It’s almost impossible to know what to do in a dark, noisy and (in some states) smoky bar, unless, darling, you’ve studied:
Trinity’s Secret Codes For Friends At A Bar
Scenario: While hitting on someone, your friend appears and you want to say…)
1. (“Is ‘this one’ gorgeous or what?”)
You: “Is this place Oz or what?”
Friend: “Totally!” or “Not as good as Kansas!”’
2. (“Get ‘this one’ away from me!”)
You: “Did you get my VD results?”
Friend: “Yes, and I need to talk to you right now!”
3. (“Get lost I’m cruising someone!”)
You: “How’s your mother?”
Friend: “Oh, I need to go call her right now!”
4. (Is “this one” trouble?)
You: “Is Dorothy caught in the storm?”
Friend: “No, she’s fine.” Or, “Yes, and Toto, too.”
5. (“Can you leave us alone?”)
You: “Did you find your keys?”
Friend: “I’m still looking (as he/she walks away)!”
6. (“Am I acting drunk?”)
You: “How’s Glinda’s bubble?”
Friend: “Fine.” Or, “It’s about to explode!”
7. (“I need some money.”)
You: “Did the Dow drop 20 points today?”
Friend: “Oh, here’s the 20 I owe you!”
8. (“Did you put your mark on ‘this one?’”)
You: “Is the water undrinkable?”
Friend: “No, it’s fine!” Or, “Yes, and you’ll be melting any minute!”
9. (“Should I take ‘this one’ home?”)
You: “Is it safe for Dorothy to leave Oz?”
Friend: “No, not tonight!” Or,“Yes if she’s smart!”
10. (“Are you ready to go?”)
You: “Is Dorothy ready to click her heels?”
Friend: “Yes!” Or, “No, she’s still looking for Toto!”
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.