How to break the habit of ‘being shy’

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
I recently started going out in the gay scene and really enjoy it. My preferred type is TV/TS. But when I see pretty drag queens at the bars, I’m too shy to approach them. What should I do?
To Shy Charleston, W.Va.

Dear To Shy,
Shyness is your mind’s fear of being rejected. So just change your mind. You must learn to play with rejection. When I go out, I play the “Rejection Game.” I talk to whomever I’m afraid of (after a drink of course). I just say, “Hello” with no expectations. Some ignore me. Some adore me. But, I always have an adventurous night. So play the “Rejection Game.” Face your fears, pumpkin, and watch them disappear.

Dearest Trinity,
I’m not saying I’m an animal about dating and sex, but is it wrong to have unspeakable amounts of dating and/or sexual encounters or should I spend more time in the waiting room?
Oink Oink, Queens, N.Y.

Dearest Oink,
You should always do what feels right, safely, respectfully and intuitively. While a life of lust may get boring, a life with the same bad date can also kill you. Since time changes everything, honey, for now… have a good time. (See my cartoon for how to deal with the revolving door.)

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Hey Trinity,
After nine months of seeing the same guy he suddenly informs me that he’s removing sex from the menu and I can’t even touch him below the waist. He says he loves me…but! Do I break up?
Needing Touch Santa Rosa, Calif.

Hey Needing,
Life’s a game, dating’s a game and love is also a game. Sometimes you just have to keep playing to see what happens. If he’s not saying why then most likely he’s not interested in you sexually anymore and you may have to pack your bags. You deserve a good sex- and relationship-life. If after a month he still treats you like a porcupine and yet you still love him then, baby, either join a monastery or an escort service!

Dear Trinity,
Many issues back you printed, “How to be the perfect houseguest.” But what about, “The perfect host?”
Hosting Tips Las Vegas, Nev.

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Dear Hosting Tips,
My goodness! Where was my head, my heart, and my spare night-light? So, sweetie, here is:

Trinity’s Hospitable Tips For Hosting A House Guest
1. “I’ll get you a spare key one of these days” makes it hard on a guest to escape from your maze. Have a spare key.
2. Preparing a clean house before they arrive promises you’ll never see headlines, “He runs a dive!” Clean before they arrive.
3. Have food for your guest, at least the first night or soon you may hear, “Sorry, we’ve got to catch a flight!” Cook a meal or invite them to a restaurant.
4. If fresh, clean linens is not on your list then expect friends to say, “Your house is not missed.” Have clean linens.
5. A well-practiced host places signs to assist, avoiding unnecessary frustration and everyone getting pissed.
6. “Please wash your own dishes and not make a mess!” are words to be uttered before you get stressed. Communicate the rules the first night.
7. Displaying money and jewels for all to admire is stupid and unnecessary unless your insurance covers more than just fire. Keep valuables private.
8. A guest is a friend, exciting and new, not someone to force your troubles onto. Don’t treat them like a therapist.
9. Being helpful, polite and appearing at ease, is good to a point, but shouldn’t bring you to your knees. Let them be independent.
10. Lastly, make time to spend with your guest, for life is too quick. Finding time with friends is often a magic trick. They came here to see you, so be there to see them.

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com

Tell Trinity, 1617 Rue Champlain, Montreal, QC H2L2S5
Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild
800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org

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