My boyfriend left me without a trace. A year later he returned with his new boyfriend. Now, they want me to spend time with them. But, I want some closure first. If I don’t get it should I still see them? And, how can I get over him for good?
Wounded, Green Bay, Wisc.
Does it really matter what his excuse was? If he said, “It was me or you or the devil!” isn’t it always just psychobabble explaining his own actions. In the end, isn’t it just you alone trying to figure out what happened and how to deal with it? So, deal with it and “you” especially since it was so long ago. Sure, get closure, but if you can’t move on, pumpkin, in the grand ballpark of relationships its always two people playing their own game anyway. Oh, and if you want closure, then absolutely demand it or demand he leave you alone.
My very close group of friends spends lots of time together telling each other everything. Now, one of them won’t talk to me because I told the others about his sexual experiences. What’s the big deal?
Sloppy Secrets, Queens, N.Y.
Hey Sloppy Secrets,
It’s great to want to share your friend’s experiences with your other comrades, but that’s not your business. Sharing “intimate” information about someone must be cleared by them first, otherwise you’re gossiping and not being a good friend, period! Darling, gossiping and sharing are very different! (My cartoon will help clarify some of your concerns.)
I met someone who wants to date regularly, but still wants to have one-night stands on the side for a while. Help!
One Night Stand Off, Houston, Texas
Hello One Night Stand Off,
Isn’t honesty a bitch! The truth is that it’s typical for relationships to slowly grow into monogamy rather than shoving, I mean, pushing it. So a) try to be open to it; b) try not to talk about it; and, c) if it goes on for too long, honey, try to run from it.
How do you know when you’re no longer dressing in drag for fun but have become a professional drag queen?
Trans-formation, Nashville, Tenn.
There are many signs on the road to professional drag-queendom. Besides paycheck increases, a MAC membership and a closet full of dresses, sweetie, here are:
Trinity’s Sparkling Tips For Knowing If You’re A (PDQ) Professional Drag Queen.
1. When you have a drag bag and a drag closet with lots of drag droppings and drag accessories then welcome home PDQ.
2. When you haven’t seen your chest hair, leg hair and/or facial hair for months, you’re probably a PDQ or from LA or South Beach.
3. When fake boobs, hip pads, stockings and a wig have a special place of their own in your home, you’re a PDQ.
4. When you’re constantly finding excess eyelash glue and glitter then you’re definitely a PDQ.
5. When you find yourself saying, “Cover Girl does not cover boys,” “Real men wear dresses too” and “MAC = God!” then guess what?
6. When your birthday gift collection has nothing remotely masculine in it and no one knows your “boy name” then guess what again.
7. When a life changing experience includes finding an “affordable” designer dress or having your “face on” in under an hour — PDQ.
8. When your other gay friends see a guy with a girl and say, “Look at him! What a waste!” But you say, “Look at her shoes! What a waste!” — then PDQ.
9. When your travel agenda always starts at a foreign Payless Shoe Source, women’s section then you’re an official PDQ.
10. Lastly, when you’ve learned to walk into a woman’s clothing store with pride, then you’re finally a proud PDQ.
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.