The sexual identity, addictions and cheating boyfriend issue

Tell Trinity

Hello Trinity,
I’m a young man thinking of having a sex change. Any suggestions?
Sex Changes, Chicago, IL

Hello Sex Changes,
Thinking about it is great, but researching about it is even more important! While sexual reassignment has many freedoms, it also has many trials and tribulations! So, sweetie, before doing anything absolute, let’s find you a gender specific counselor to help determine what’s appropriate for you. Contact resources such as Gender Spectrum for Gender Education, genderspectrum.org, Dr. Anne Lawrence, a transgendered M.D., annelawrence.com, Chicago Gender Society, 708-863-7714 and pflag.org. Good luck and keep me posted.

Dearest Trinity,
I’ve been living with my stepbrother’s family since our father died. I have to hide my sexuality, creativity, religious and political beliefs. I can’t leave for financial reasons. What can I do?
The Cinderella Trap, Providence, RI

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tt_411_080114Dearest Trapped,
If you can’t leave or stay, then you need a prince or a plan. And, until a prince comes along, then let’s make a plan. Let’s try going to trade school and getting some skills so that you can get out on your own. Trade schools often help you get financial assistance and start for free. Let’s also try getting a part-time job, saving money and getting out. Otherwise, baby, if that doesn’t work, then let’s try doing what I do every year, getting someone to fall in love with me and take me away. Then your problems will be, ah…different. (My cartoon shows you all about getting out and finding a prince.)

Dear Trinity
How do you know if a boyfriend is cheating?
Mystery Boyfriend, Olympia, WA

Dear Mystery,
Ben Franklin once said, “Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes.” Thus, you never really know unless you: a) catch him, b) rent a video camera and film him, c) hire a detective to take pictures or d) do your own detective work. Lastly, if it is true, honey, and you do disclose your proof, do it in a safe, possibly public place and make sure a close ally knows what you’re doing so you don’t suddenly disappear!

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Hey Trinity,
I think my boyfriend is hiding an addiction for sex, alcohol and maybe even drugs. How do I find out so that I can help him?
Addicted, Raleigh, NC

Hey Addicted,
Besides direct confrontation or an intervention, there are many ways to check, but, pumpkin, first read:

Trinity’s Tips For Finding Out If Someone Is A Sex, Alcohol Or Drug Addict
1. Check his living space for bottles of booze, i.e., closets, bathroom cabinets, storage cellars or his car.
2. Notice her daily habits to see if it includes a drink, a toke, a line or a spanking.
3. Introduce yourself to his friends and ask, “Have you ever needed to dump out or destroy any of his excess drugs or alcohol?”
4. Go to your local AA, SLA or NA meeting places to see if there’s a “wanted” sign on the wall with her picture on it.
5. Visit his work to see if he locks himself in the bathroom during lunch or spends time bidding on Ebay for naughty videos or chatting in hookup apps.
6. Check the obituaries to see if her friends have either died from liver disease or overdosed.
7. Drive to the local strip joints to see if his car is there. Also, check his bed for blow-up dolls.
8. Read the newspaper’s “arrest” listings to see if his or her close friends have been locked up for prostitution or public sexual indecencies, again.
9. Noticing his or her physical deterioration, emotional irritability and very late-night visitors means something’s up!
10. Lastly, if his or her “bedside draw” has more sex toys, drug paraphernalia and/or miniature liquor bottles than most little girls have Barbies, then someone has an addiction or has found an irresistible sale!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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