I just started going on Scuff/Grindr and Growlr to meet people. Got any pearls of wisdom for beginners?
Internet Baby, Raleigh, NC
Dear Internet Baby,
Apps are great for checking the weather, connecting with friends and, well, selling yourself! These apps make being lonely or bored a thing of the past. But, it has also created many high school problems for senior citizens. Where else but cellphone apps can you make a date and never show up or say (text) something nasty to a complete stranger without ever seeing their face. Yes, you can meet great people, maybe even find a soulmate. However, honey, remember meeting someone (at a public place) is much less risky or dangerous than trusting typed words or Photoshopped photos. So read, proceed and type with caution!
Sex life with my other half is just not what it was the first couple of years. It seems like he has taken a nosedive…away from me. I can’t tell if he’s cheating, bored or turning asexual. What makes sex in a relationship “peter out?”
Wanting More Peter, Santa Rosa, CA
Dearest Wanting More Peter,
Sex in a relationship is like ice cream on a cone, if you don’t pay attention to it, it will melt and turn to mush. However, if you lick it into shape and attend to its needs, it will keep its consistency. Similarly, you have to pay close attention to your sex life by keeping it in shape and alive. Otherwise, if you’re not continually inventing new sexy games, your sex life will eventually freeze up or melt away! Now start licking, sweetie! (My cartoon shows you how I’ve tackled this problem.)
When is it a good time to meet the parents of someone you’re dating?
Parent Trap, South Beach, FL
Hello Parent Trap,
Waiting a few months, just so you’re both clear on what you are presenting to the parents, is best. Why rush it. This way you also get a clearer idea of your date’s financial worth, I mean, get familiar with his or her background. Also, pumpkin, once you meet the parents and get passed their “interview,” your date will forever have to explain you, what you’re up to and what you’re not up to!
On our second date, I asked, “Would you like to date exclusively?” but she said I was “moving to fast!” What’s too fast?
Speedy Second Date, Savannah, GA
Hey Speedy Second Date,
The “second date” is a time to learn more about someone, to ask smarter and sneakier questions, to steal some kisses and to read:
Trinity’s Snappy Second Date Scenarios For When You’re (MTF) Moving Too Fast
1. If you open a joint bank account or put his name on your home mortgage, you’re MTF.
2. If you call her parents, friends, coworkers and ex-lovers just to introduce yourself to them, you’re MTF!
3. If you’re telling him how to dress, shower, shave and use the toilet, then you’re MTF.
4. If you utter, “I need you!,” “Lets be monogamous!” or “Can we move in together!,” you’re really MTF!
5. If while she’s at work you redecorate her home to fit your taste, you’re MTF.
6. If you ask him to convert religions, change carriers or try plastic surgery, you’re unbelievably MTF.
7. If you start suggesting what he should eat, where he should live and whom he should associate with, well then you’re dangerously MTF.
8. If in her closet you start to keep some clothes, some photo albums and your diary, you’re stupidly MTF.
9. If you start planning a wedding, the children’s education and how to get rid of his mother, you’re totally MTF!
10. And, lastly, if you show up with a U-haul truck full of everything you own, then darling, you’re M (way) TF!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.