I’ve been dating this really great guy for weeks now, but he doesn’t have a very good job, stays on a friends’ couch and is on anti-depressants. I had much bigger expectations for a boyfriend! Should I keep dating him or hold out for someone better?
Hoping for More, Buffalo, NY
If he’s in his 20’s or 30’s, then I’d get my feet wet a bit more and see if he has a viable plan towards having a better life. It’s sometimes great being with someone whose life is getting started. However, sweetie, if he’s over 40 and finds nothing wrong with living meekly forever, then run — don’t walk! Having to date a low income, homeless, depressed guy looks adventurous in novels and Hollywood films, but not in real life.
My partner loves shopping malls. Not to the point of being a shopaholic, but to the point of spending lots of time at the malls. How do I get him to change his ways?
Shopping Habits, Palm Springs, CA
I also love shopping, hanging out and dining at the mall! It’s like a big museum of things, people and events, including outlet stores and window displays. Everyone has their hobbies and shopping malls may be the way your partner expresses him/herself. Maybe, pumpkin, it’s cultural? (I just love stacking up the packages on my jaunt to the mall, as I am sure you can tell from looking at my cartoon!)
When I’m dating someone, I’m often physical with them for a period of time (a few weeks to months), then we become friends who strictly get together for sex. Do you think having sex with my “friends” impedes upon finding a long-term relationship?
Yours, Relationship Roaming, Seattle, WA
Many people have friends with benefits or once-in-a-while sex partners. It’s as common as faux finishes and chenille throws. If you make time for meeting and dating others, then you can have it all! Don’t fight it if it comes naturally. Learn to work it! But, if sleeping with your “friends” is in any way hindering your dating process, then stop! You don’t have to be celibate while dating, but you do have to be smart about how you spend your social and sexual energy. Oh, and honey, if all else fails, call me — I make a great “friend!”
Whenever I go out to meet people, it seems like no one hits on me. But, my friends point out that I am being cruised a lot more than I think. What am I missing?
Cruising To Be Cruised, Washington, DC
It’s hard to know just when someone is interested, especially in some of those dark, sleazy parks, I mean placse. But, just so you don’t miss any important meetings, darling, here are:
Trinity’s Cunning Tips For Knowing When (YBC) “You’re Being Cruised”
1. A smile, a wink, a nod or a stare always means beware. (YBC)
2. When someone asks, “How are you? Are you alone? Can I buy you a drink?” (YBC)
3. When someone asks about your relationships, living situation and/or marital status. (YBC)
4. When the waiter, flight attendant or bell captain gives you lots of things for free. (YBC)
5. When you start getting flowers, letters or singing telegrams. (YBC)
6. If you forgot your keys at the store and the clerk returns them with a box of heart shaped candies. (YBC)
7. When you notice the same person appearing at your gym, grocery store and luncheonette and does #1, #2 and/or #3. (YBC)
8. When the bank manager offers you an interest free loan or the IRS auditor wants to “make your day!” (YBC)
9. When a car follows you for miles, keeps pulling up next to you and does #1, #2 and/or #3. (YBC)
10. Lastly, if you’re walking down the street and you notice someone whistling and blowing kisses at you. (YBC) Majorly!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.