My boyfriend of four years and I decided to buy a house and move in together. I suggested that we pay the bills according to our incomes. Fifty percent from each of our paychecks would be plenty to cover the bills. He thinks it’s unfair and wants to split it fifty-fifty. But I’ll be broke for the next 10 years. Any ideas?
What’s Fair, Grand Rapids, MI
Dear What’s Fair,
Being with that special someone for four years does mean its time to share a home and in many cases each other’s incomes. Sharing the bills by putting up half of each income is definitely common for couples, especially when the incomes are not the same. But if he wants more bang from your buck, tell him that you’ll sign something that says, “If we sell the house we’ll divide it up the same way it was paid for.” Otherwise the alternative is a) don’t buy a house together just yet or b) buy a house that you can afford! Sorry, honey, no one said love was easy!
My partner takes care of all our financial responsibilities. But after seven years, I’m getting fed up with having to ask for things! Just because my partner is the breadwinner, why do I often have to beg?
Passive Peeves, Memphis, TN
Hey Passive Peeves,
When someone is paying your way, you have to compromise by being grateful and respectful! Otherwise, pumpkin, the only way to make what doesn’t work, work is to find your own work. And, until then, keep begging, but in your sexiest outfit. (Did someone say checkbook? My cartoon sure shows how this dilemma shakes out and some wisdom to handle it!)
Do you have any idea how to get someone that I just started dating to stop using his cellphone so much when we’re out? I really like him, but it’s so annoying!
CellHell, Montréal, QC
You mean to say that when you’re out, together, just the two of you, supposedly having a great date, that this fool thinks it’s cool to use his cellphone (except for emergencies or directions.) Maybe he’s from another planet or doesn’t have much education or maybe, darling, (drum role, please) he’s not that interested in you. When someone is interested in you, they spend their time with you not on the phone, period! So, demand that he doesn’t use his cellphone when he’s with you EXcept, of course, to order you gifts, flowers or a fabulous vacation somewhere hot, steamy and without cellphone towers!
You are always writing about dating, how to find a date, what to bring on a date and so on.” I’m curious, what does Trinity bring on a date?
Curious, Provincetown, MA
I haven’t cleaned my handbag in months, but sweetie, I guess it’s time to let the rat — I mean beautiful cat — out of my big red dating bag. So, here are…
The Most Important Items Trinity Always Brings On A Date
1. Breath mints, chewing gum, credit cards and cash!
2. A toothbrush, contraceptives and earplugs, in case he snores.
3. A mini vodka and/or aspirins in case my date talks about himself to no end.
4. My information on a card, in my wallet in case I’m left passed out in some alley!
5. An extra pair of undergarments and comfortable running shoes (it’s a girls’ thing)!
6. Trinity’s tips for what not to do and to do on a first date.
7. A package of tissues, handy wipes and a vibrating cellphone, if possible!
8. My first CD, “A Good Man is Hard to Find.”
9. An unsigned marriage certificate and a blood test kit — just kidding!
10. Lastly, I always leave my date’s information by my home phone and tell a friend about him, just in case his cousin is Jeffrey Dahmer. : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.