Public display of affection: yea or nay?

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
When I go to my friend’s house, he and his lover always kiss and hold each other right in front of me. It really hurts! Why don’t they understand how it feels to be single and have that in your face? How can I get them to understand that it’s not comfortable unless I have someone to do it with myself?
Sadly Single, Milwaukee, WI

Dear Sad,
That’s easy, just tell your friends that you’re neurotic, alone and depressed and that you would like them to act loveless and joyless around you. You can also add that you’re slightly loosing your mind! Pumpkin, sorry to sound so hard, but it’s time you went out and got laid, loved and a life. After you do that, I promise you’ll once again love seeing people in love, especially your friends! What bothers you about others is the real issue. It’s your psyche trying to get you to deal with your own issues.

Hello Trinity
Do you think having fantasies that involve more than one lover are wrong? Ever since the AIDS epidemic, I’ve tried to avoid thinking about group sex, but I used to love it. If I can’t have it, can’t I at least fantasize about it? How about in animation?
Animated Orgies, Portland, OR

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tt_427_031315Hello Animated Orgies,
Having fantasies, fetishes and animated dreams are not only normal and healthy, but you deserve them. Safe sex has put the fire out on orgies at least for some. So, darling, if you’re more comfortable having high risk adventures in your head rather than in real life, I say, “You go, baby!” (Be it a fairy tale or a Walter Mitty moment, you can pretend however you wish. Check out my cartoon to see how I do it.”)

Hey Trinity,
My last date ditched me because I was 30 minutes late a few times. It wasn’t always my fault. Why are people so selfish? And what happened to giving someone a chance?
Late, Chicago, IL

Hey Late,
Unfortunately, being late with an excuse still means you’re late, unless you call 30 minutes or more ahead to move the time up. In dating and in life you must start being early or on time or accept the consequences. Have you ever held your breath or stared at a clock for three minutes never mind 30 minutes? It’s awful! Honey, your word must be treated like a contract, like the word of G-d, otherwise your word is meaningless, which is what your last date must have thought about dating you. Try again!

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Dearest Trinity,
I’m having an awful problem meeting other women. Every time I meet a girl who I really like, she ultimately has issues with drugs, alcohol, low self-esteem, depression or all of the above. Help!
Sowing My Seeds, Miami, FL

Dearest Sowing Your Seeds,
Finding a good woman or man is like finding…
a good woman or man. For whatever divine reason, dating is challenging, disheartening and risky just like life. Dating, also like life, sweetie, takes time and patience, but for today start reading:

Trinity’s Poetic Tips For Dating
1. Who we choose to date is directly related to how we see ourselves!
2. People who have good relationships with their parents often have good relationships with others.
3. Low self-esteem needs therapy not compulsive dating.
4. Communicating communication communicatively is our greatest ally.
5. When our problems become our conversation, dinner alone becomes our occupation.
6. Too much work and not enough play makes Jacqueline a dull girl!
7. When one substance abuser dates another substance abuser it’s time for a documentary not a relationship.
8. A little mystery evokes intrigue and flair, but too many secrets evoke trouble in the air.
9. Dating someone exactly like us promises a date with the most boring one on the bus.
10. Lastly, if you’re looking to find that perfect mate who’s at their ultimate potential then…become a necrophiliac!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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