Should your lover know all of your fetishes?

Tell Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
I’m 27, male, straight and have fetishes for woman’s panties. My girlfriend lets me wear hers and I also own other woman’s panties I call “mystery panties” because I don’t know whom they belonged to. How can I get my girlfriend to let me wear my mystery panties and not just hers?
Hide The Panties, Brooklyn, NY

Dearest Hide The Panties,
Sleeping with, flirting with and/or wearing other women’s panties equal three things: being disrespectful, unfaithful and cheating. Once you’re dating someone it’s time to hide the porn, the pictures of your exes and the “mystery panties.” Yes, wear your girlfriend’s panties a) only if they’re clean, b) only to remind you of womanhood and c) only when they don’t make you desire other woman, then maybe gently hint about the mystery panties. But, why not keep it quiet? Honey, would you want her wearing other men’s underwear and getting all excited about it? Night, night sweetie!

Hello Trinity,
Relationships are so much work. Does it ever get easy?
The Work Schedule, Vancouver, BC

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tt_430_042415Hello Work Schedule,
Relationships should get easier, but it’s always a balancing act that tortures, I mean teaches, you about life and yourself. So, stick with it. And, pumpkin, as time passes and your relationship is more about companionship, mutual respect and self-respect, then, yes, it will get easier, sort of. (My bed, oh, I mean, life and relationships are filled with work of all kinds. See my cartoon to see how I handle it.)

Dear Trinity,
I caught my girlfriend cheating. Is it me?
Why Me, Key West, FL

Dear Why Me,
Someone cheats, not because of you, but because of something emotional or learned within themselves. In a Zen tale, “A frog needs to cross a pond and a scorpion says, ‘I’ll take you and won’t sting you.’ The frog replies, ‘Promise?’ and the scorpion says, ‘Yes.’ So the frog gets on his back. Halfway across the pond the scorpion stings the frog. When the frog asks, ‘Why’d you do it, you promised?’ the scorpion replies, ‘It’s my nature!’” And, darling, there lies the truest reason why someone cheats.

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Hey Trinity,
I started chatting online and have met many different people. I’d like to meet some future dates, but I need advice.
Internet Explorer, Santa Monica, CA

Hey Explorer,
The internet can be addictive, expensive, time consuming and dangerous. So, baby, be careful, light hearted and read:

Trinity’s Smart Tips For What To Look For In The First Ten Emails With A New (CP) Chatting Partner
1. If you don’t read “LOL” (laugh out loud) at least three times by the 10th email, then your CP may be a bore, a brain or a mortician!
2. If your CP writes with a righteous, serious or know-it-all tone, then get ready to chat with The Christian Right who are never wrong!
3. If your CP writes, “I hate…,” “I’m totally over,” “I hope you’re not this or that (stereo type),” prepare to meet Mister or Miss Miserable!
4. If your CP only posts nude pictures, he or she may only want a bang with you or with you’re whole gang!
5. If you see misspelled or incompre–hensible phrases like, “Wil yu pley wit me” then prepare to meet a young, or unintelligent and /or non-English speaking CP!
6. If your CP only writes short (terse) messages, then prepare to meet the workaholic or the partier!
7. If your CP writes long messages every day, then prepare to meet the computer geek or the unemployed!
8. If your CP writes, “I’m on anti-depressants and have low self-esteem,” then get a psychology degree before meeting this person!
9. If your CP talks about genital size, sexual desires and/or rendezvous locations, then you may be chatting with everyone’s best bedmate!
10. Lastly, if you’re denied headshots, an email address, a cellphone number or relevant information, then this CP may be ugly, in “the closet” or even (more common) married!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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