Mercury not only retrogrades in Libra, but also, eventually, backs into Virgo. This means we can insult people and embarrass ourselves in several places at once until early October. Oh, goodie.

VIRGO (08.24-09.23) A fool and their money are soon parted. And, that goes double for mouthy queer Virgins now. Let all financial matters wait if you can for later this month. At that time, your focus will shift to personal matters. You can then clumsily trip your way into center stage. First impressions go as deep as craters. Can you avoid stepping into anything until October? Boo!

LIBRA (09.24-10.23) You may not be at your social best at this time. Gay Libras may be impolitic on the first meeting, so try to stick with whom you know for the time being. Later, your intuition takes off like a rocket booster that can crash and burn if you are not careful. Keep everything and everyone in perspective. There is no need to bite just because someone barks.

SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Your best charitable gay efforts may not have the intended effect now, but take heart proud Scorp. What seems like a small gesture now, eventually, blossoms into something affirmative and strengthening. But, watch what you say around friends. Miscommunication causes undo stress and missed opportunities. Take a deep breath and enjoy your own company.

SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) It’s possible to push the group dynamic into a wayward action. Gay Archers can be inspirational leaders, but now have a way of turning a march into a riot. Such politics can bring the corporation to its knees later in the month. Don’t throw your career off track because things are not exactly the way they should be. Spread good cheer now. Plunge the knife later.

CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Professional issues heat up to a roaring boil, but it is the foolish pink Cap who snorts while steam rises. Your point is not well taken by the bosses and it could be used to prod you in the rump. This is not a good career move. Then, as if you didn’t have enough, some of your actions could foul up any legal proceedings. Rest your case until early October.

AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Aqueerians should double check travel plans. Tickets could go astray and baggage travels to the far reaches of the earth while you’re stuck at home. The real test occurs in a couple of weeks when your sexual sizzle could singe. Actions speak louder and prouder than words, so don’t say a peep while you show ’em how you really feel.

PISCES (02.20-03.20) Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you sleep alone. This time period throws cold water on a hot patoot if you allow your thoughts to become pubic displays. My advice is to forgive and forget. Soon these assorted antics go beyond the flesh when you contemplate the totality of your relationships. Less is more now. Enjoy the simple pleasures and let the details wait.

ARIES (03.21-04.20) The yin/yang of relationships may become too much to disentangle now. Proud Rams stir up the embers with a few badly chosen words or blow the whole darn partnership to smithereens if they’re too mouthy. It’s a relief to switch problems and have to deal with miscommunications on the job a couple of weeks from now. Or, maybe you can just speak softly and stow the schtick.

TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Queer Bulls eat crow at work if they insist on chirping their misguided opinions to all and sundry. Quellow the bellow and take things as they come. And remember — this too shall pass. Before you know it, your attention will be diverted to your social calendar. Yeah, the party was last week! Oh well, at least you could spend your free time planning the next job assignment.

GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Your gay muse has taken time off, so don’t try to beat a creative thought out of that stubborn mind of yours. Anything artistic or fun will have to wait a couple of weeks when you focus on irritating family issues. I’m all for coming clean to relatives, but now it’s best to wait until your thoughts match your words. Communication comes out more effectively at that time.

CANCER (06.22-07.23) Don’t deal with any impossible home issues, if you can avoid them. Gay Crabs cannot win with relatives and cannot plan a home improvement project without wasting time, money and energy. Communications become more problematic as this time progresses. Take a breath and watch what you say! Even careful you can catch claw in mouth disease.

LEO (07.24-08.23) Expect static on the chat line. Proud Lions are not at the top of their expressive form and should avoid any public speaking now. But wait — no sooner do you get a grip than you have confusion and miscommunication in fiscal matters. The secret is to buy low and sell high, but now you may do the opposite. If it seems to good to be true then you are not reading the fine print.

© 2008 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment.
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