I’m 25 years old and sort of shy. I want to go to bars and meet people, but I’m afraid no one will talk to me. I’m also not comfortable talking to people I don’t know. Is there something I can do that will help me when I go out?
Make Me Superman, Dallas, TX
Dear Make Me Superman,
When George W. Bush went to speak to crowds knowing most everyone hated him, he had to psych himself up and practice a very high form of self-empowerment. Many call it bullheadedness and stupidity. Well guess what? You have to do the same. You have to psych yourself up even if it means becoming a little bullheaded or unaware of what’s going on around you. You have to become assertive, even aggressive, when you go into unfamiliar crowds. You have to think, “I’m safe,“ I’m cool,” “the world is mine,” and/or “there’s nothing to fear but fear itself!” You have to have a beer and just say hi to people as if you were Superman going out to save people from danger and/or boredom. Think powerful. Think fearless! Oh, and sweetie… think charming!
I just turned 50 and I’m thinking about plastic surgery. Do you think I’m crazy or insecure? Can’t I grow old gracefully with a little cosmetic help?
Growing Old Gracefully, Nashville, TN
Dearest Growing Old Gracefully,
“Aging gracefully” is a gift for the deeply spiritual or those with exceptionally great genes. The rest of us may have to try something a little less natural. So, pumpkin, if you feel like having a weekend at the clinic to tighten up and suck out some of those indulgent decades, then you go right ahead. Life doesn’t last forever (nether does Botox), so be choosy, find a great doctor and, as Leo Buscaglia said, “Have it all! Buy two in every color!” (I’ve the skinny on how all this is done if you check out my cartoon.)
I gave it three years, I didn’t want to be single again, but I guess I just wasn’t “everything” he wanted. Why do I, like so many gay men, keep ending up single?
Why Me Again, San Jose, CA
Hey Why Me Again,
Dating, relationships and men are very complicated, as well as very disappointing. Even though it seems like two is better than one, honey, here’s a little eye-opening list to remind you just how much being single is really great.
Trinity’s Bright Reminders For When You’re Suddenly Single Again
1. It’s time to remember just how much garbage you put up with, such as the selfishness, the lateness and the bad attitude.
2. It’s time to remember just how bad your
ex used to kiss, snore and cook, never mind the constant bad breath from his cigarette smoking.
3. It’s time to remember just why you are no longer with your ex, spiritually, emotionally and financially.
4. It’s time to remember just how many things in your life you had to change and compromise on — but don’t have to anymore.
5. It’s time to remember just how much love is blind and just how much you were blinded by love.
6. It’s time to remember just how interesting, fun and adventurous the dating game is now that you can date again.
7. It’s time to remember just how many wonderful things you can do and think and eat compared to when you had someone controlling your every move.
8. It’s time to remember just how much stronger, wiser and more attractive you are compared to the last time you were single.
9. It’s time to remember just how sacred your body and sexuality is. Plus, since you’ve been with someone for so long, you can now be pickier.
10. And lastly, it’s time to remember just how many things about your past relationship really didn’t work — like… everything!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.