Are “pick-up” bars really good places for couples?

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
Why is it that when I’m out at a bar and I tell someone that “I’m in a relationship” I suddenly get treated like a vampire? Is talking to someone who’s in a relationship really that evil?
Unappreciated, Nashville, TN

Dear Unappreciated,
If you’re at a pickup bar surrounded by people looking to score or meet other potential dates, why would any mortal waste their time with you? And why are you there anyway? If you’re looking for a one-night stand, then don’t mention your relationship status, and if you’re looking for friends, then join an athletic, intellectual, spiritual or political group. Honestly, pumpkin, either expect to be treated like a vampire or stop going to pickup bars without your other half!

Hey Trinity,
After seven years together, my ex dumped me a few months ago and I’m still so angry. How would you get revenge on someone who promised you the moon and then left you in the dirt?
Lost In Bachelorhood, Wichita, KS

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tt_439_082815Hey Lost In Bachelorhood,
Being hurt and angry is very understandable. I’d be angry too. But I’d also forgive him ASAP, move on with my life and let him suffer in his loss of me. Darling, to live your life even greater than it was when you were together is truly the best revenge! (My cartoon shows you how I simply live life to the fullest when I’m suddenly single again. It’s just so much more fulfilling. Besides, when an ex learns how well you are doing, then you’re on a roll.)

Dearest Trinity,
After putting a profile on the internet, I’ve been getting at least one response a day. It’s very exciting, but also very difficult meeting and dating all these different personalities. Help?
Lots To Date, Asheville, NC

Dearest Lots To Date,
Before any project reaches a successful conclusion, there must first be a weeding out process and, sweetie, dating different guys at once or “powerdating” is no different. Think of powerdating as a research project for your book, “One Hundred Dates!” Stay intuitive, adventurous and keep a fun loving mood about your research. There are lots of personalities to deal with, yes, but meeting the “right” one means going through the wrong ones first.
Good luck.

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Hello Ms. Trinity,
As I am just turning 17, I find myself completely left out of mainstream gay culture. In fact, the complete lack of things to do has led me to seek friends in all the wrong places.
Underage, Cape Cod, MA

Hello Underage,
Being a gay grown-up has its lack of outlets as well. It doesn’t get easier unless you get more creative. So, honey, for now here are:

Trinity’s Supportive Tips For Getting Through Your Gay Youth
1. LGBT centers are in almost every city in America. They have youth groups. Go there. Also use the internet carefully.
2. Many high schools and most universities have LGBT clubs. Join it, start one or go to one at another school.
3. There are many social, athletic, intellectual and religious groups which have or would be open to having a youth group. Find them!
4. Alternative cultures in the gay community, such as the radical faeries, have groups that welcome gay youths of all ages. Find them too!
5. Remember, it’s not what you don’t have it’s how you go after what you want.
6. In your town, school, neighborhood etc. there are other gay kids. Carefully turn on your “gaydar” and meet them.
7. It’s easy to give up, get frustrated, even get depressed over many things, so remember the rules for depression are diet, stay busy, exercise and get plenty of sleep.
8. If you’re unable to place ads looking for like-minded teens, get someone to help you place these ads.
9. Search the internet, find and call gay youth crisis lines anytime. They are very helpful.
10. Lastly, being a gay anything is difficult, but the more you learn to recreate your situation by fulfilling your needs, the better your future will be!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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