I’m a 20-year-old gay army soldier. I haven’t come out yet to my family or to my platoon. I know it’s accepted, but I just don’t want to deal with everyone knowing. My sexuality is private to me! Help.
Help! Private G.I. Joe, Montgomery, AL
Dear G.I. Joe,
I’ve never been in the armed forces, but I once was in the arms of a Navy priest (before Don’t Ask Don’t Tell ended) who said, “Being gay, and in the Navy is a choice I made. I have my straight-Navy life and my gay-private life.” We all have to do things we don’t love in order to have things we do love. So, be a private-Private, at least until you’re ready to come out! Also, think therapy, gay support groups and lots of leave time!
My partner loves shopping malls. Not to the point of being a shopaholic, but to the point of spending lots time at the malls. How do I get him to change his ways?
Shopping Habits, Palm Springs, CA
I also love shopping, hanging out and dining at the mall! It’s like a big museum of things, people and events including outlet stores and window displays. Everyone has their hobbies and shopping malls may be the way your partner expresses him/herself. Maybe, honey, it’s cultural? (I sure know how fun the mall can be. There’s so much to see. So take a look at my cartoon for how I handle it.)
When I am dating someone, I am often physical with them for a period of time (a few weeks to months), then we end up becoming friends who strictly get together for sex. Do you think having sex with my “friends” impedes upon finding a long-term relationship?
Yours, Relationship Roaming, Seattle, WA
Many people have friends that were once or are once-in-a-while sex partners. It’s as common as Netflix marathons of “Orange Is The New Black” (OITNB) and marijuana stores in Colorado. If you make time for meeting and dating, then you can have it all! But if sleeping with your “friends” is in any way hindering your dating process, then stop! You don’t have to be celibate while dating, but you do have to be smart about how you spend your social and sexual energy. And, darling, if all else fails, call me. I make a great “friend!”
Whenever I go out to meet people, it seems like no one hits on me. But my friends point out that I am being cruised a lot more than I think. What am I missing?
Cruising To Be Cruised, Washington, DC
It’s hard to know just when someone is interested, especially in some of those dark, sleazy parks, I mean dynamic, sunny places. But, pumpkin, just so you don’t miss any important encounters, here are:
Trinity’s Cunning Tips For Knowing When “You’re Being Cruised” (YBC)
1. A smile, a wink, a nod or a stare always means YBC.
2. When someone asks, “How are you? Are you alone? Can I buy you a drink?” YBC.
3. When someone asks about your relationships, living situation and/or marital status, YBC.
4. When the waiter, flight attendant or bell captain gives you lots of things for free, YBC.
5. When you start getting flowers, letters or singing telegrams, YBC.
6. If you forgot your keys at the store and the clerk returns them with a box of heart-shaped candies, YBC.
7. When you notice the same person appearing at your gym, grocery store and luncheonette and does #1, #2 and/or #3, YBC.
8. When the bank manager offers you an interest free loan or the IRS auditor wants to “make your day,” YBC.
9. When a car follows you for miles, keeps pulling up next to you and does #1, #2 and/or #3, YBC.
10. Lastly, if you’re walking down the street and you notice someone whistling and blowing kisses at you, YBC, majorly! : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.