I just recently started going out to gay bars and gay events. I really enjoy it. But when I see a sexy guy, or at least a guy I find sexy, I become too shy to approach him. Help?
Too Shy, Charleston, WV
Dear Too Shy,
Shyness is often about fear of being rejected, so simply make your fear a game. When I go out, I play what I call the “Rejection Game.” I play with being rejected by as many sexy guys as possible. Some ignore me and some adore me. But, eventually, I meet lots of people. And I only need one each night, I mean one man to love forever. So, pumpkin, face your fear and watch it disappear.
I’m not saying that I’m an animal about dating and sex, but oink, oink! Is it wrong to be a pig? Or, should I spend more time in the waiting room?
Oink Oink, Queens, NY
As long as no one gets hurt and you practice respect for yourself and others, then enjoy. Although, darling, a life of lust may get boring and lonely after a while. But, then again, that “while” may take a long time. (Waiting rooms can be like revolving doors. Or, they can be like a magic act. Surprises can appear out of nowhere. My cartoon shows you how I repose for this!)
After nine months of seeing the same man, he suddenly informs me that he’s removed sex from the menu and I can’t even touch him below the waist. He says he loves me. But what about sex?
Needing Touch, Santa Rosa, CA
Boy, that news makes chasing spiders sound enjoyable. In dating and love sometimes you have to be patient. But, honey, if you must have sex, which is a very basic need, then you may have to take matters into “your own hands” or now and then call on an old mate to help. And if after a few months he still treats you like a porcupine, then either join a monastery or an escort service.
Many issues back you printed a top 10 list for how to be the perfect houseguest, but what about how to be the perfect host.
Hosting Tips, Las Vegas, NV
Hello Hosting Tips,
My goodness, where was my head, my heart, my spare night-light? So, sweetie, here are;
Trinity’s Hospitable Tips For Hosting A House Guest
1. “I’ll get a spare key one of these days” makes it hard on a guest to escape from your maze! Have a spare key!
2. Preparing a clean house before they arrive promises you’ll never see headlines, “He Runs A Filthy Dive!” Clean before they arrive!
3. Have Food for your guest, at least the first night, or soon you may hear, “Sorry, we’ve got to catch a flight!” Cook a meal or invite them to a restaurant.
4. If fresh, clean linens are not on your list, then expect friends to say, “Your house is not missed! Have clean linens!
5. A well-practiced host places signs to assist, avoiding unnecessary frustration and everyone getting pissed.
6. “Please wash your own dishes and not make a mess!” are words to be uttered before you get stressed! Communicate the rules the first night!
7. Displaying money and jewels for all to admire is unnecessary unless your insurance covers more than just fire. Keep valuables private!
8. A guest is a friend, exciting and new, not someone to force your troubles on to! Don’t treat them like a therapist.
9. Being helpful, polite and appearing at ease is good to a point, but shouldn’t bring you to your knees. Let them be independent!
10. Lastly, make time to spend with your guest, for life is too quick. Finding time with friends is often a magic trick! They came here to see you so make time there to see them! : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.