Recently, at my high school reunion, I realized that all my high school friends, unlike me, are married, have high paying jobs and own their own homes! Why do I feel like such a failure? Did I do something wrong?
Not Enough, Asheville, NC
Hello Not Enough,
So your friends “made it” sooner than you, yippee! Here are some failure facts to ponder on. Einstein failed third grade, Lincoln lost many more elections than he won, Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken was broke until his mid-sixties and Edison failed over 10,000 times before getting the light bulb just right! By the end of your life, sweetie, you will realize that your failed experiences will be your biggest inspirations for future successes. Oh, and BTW, the grass is always greener, just in case you forgot.
I’m a gay parent who is raising two kids with my partner. Do you have any advise for gay parenting?
Parenting Ponders, Rehoboth Beach, DE
Being a parent on top of being a gay parent is a daily challenge. But there is a large gay parenting community to help. Find and become friends with other gay parents, join a gay parenting group and travel to gay parenting events like Provincetown’s gay parent week. This will surely help. Darling, it truly does take lots of love, patience and socialization to make a child strong! (My cartoon shows you how many folks it takes to truly raise a child in the LGBT community. Just follow the Yellow Brick Road to learn more!)
When I get “all cleaned up,” my girlfriend goes crazy for me. But when I’m my “natural” self, i.e., unkempt, a bit dirty or just a little sweaty, she won’t even get close to me. Shouldn’t I be loved for me?
Natural Love, Eugene, OR
Getting “dolled up” or “cleaned up” every so often just to keep the excitement, interest and your date eager to be next to you is a very healthy part of a relationship. Have you ever seen a male peacock spread his feathers as he’s trying to excite a mate? Appreciating you for the “natural you” is charming, but, honestly, who wants to make love to a featherless peacock? Also, honey, smelling and looking delicious will assure you that your girlfriend will always have a good appetite…for you!
I was self-employed for 15 years, but now I’m back in the job market and without much luck! Selling myself is awful. Help!
Job Jitters, Miami, FL
Dear Job Jitters,
Looks, charm and a creative, even aggressive sale pitch will get you in the door. But, pumpkin, just in case that’s not enough here’s:
Trinity’s Loyal Tips For Going On A Job Interview
1. Baseball hats, sunglasses, jeans and T-shirts are worn by people going shopping or to the movies, not ones who go on job interviews!
2. Arriving and appearing professional, presentable, eager and responsible means the job is already half yours!
3. Sending a resume first, plus arriving with two more copies the day of the interview, means you’re a smart candidate!
4. Using sex appeal, charm, connections and familiar references may not be righteous, but you’re on a job interview not in a church confessional!
5. Talking about things you can do is far more attractive than talking about things you cannot!
6. Selling the fact that “you can learn anything you don’t already know” means you’re not afraid of a good challenge.
7. Being late with an excuse does not mean you’re on time. Better to say, “I’m late. I’m sorry. It will never happen again.”
8. There are many books on “job interviewing.” Buy them all, yesterday!
9. Never “shot gun” (blindly sending out) resumes. Get a contact. Talk with them. Then send your resume. And always follow up!
10. Lastly, you have 30 seconds (maximum) to sell yourself. If they like you after that, then sell yourself even more!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.