Will I ever see my ex with someone else and not want to barf?

Tell Trinity

Hey Trinity,
I see my ex-lover around town from time to time. But this time, I saw her at a party passionately kissing someone else. Now, it’s been bothering me for days. I can’t get the picture of them out of my head. And it’s been three months since we broke up! Does that feeling ever go away?
Stuck In The Past, Provincetown, MA

Hey Stuck,
It’s normal to want to barf, I mean bolt, when you see your ex kissing someone else. Yes, it takes time to heal, however, the process could be dramatically accelerated if you’d just allow yourself to date again, maybe even feel love for someone else! It’s time to move on by meeting and dating others idiots, I mean individuals ASAP! Even if you fail 100 times, pumpkin, there’s still 101. Thomas Edison failed over 5,000 before getting the light bulb to work right but eventually he found that spark and you will too! Now, stop wasting time!

Listen Trinity,
Looking one’s best is important, but I’m sick of high heels, whether it looks good or not. I’m transsexual and my straight BF now strongly suggested that I wear heels when we go out and sometimes when we make love. Do I have to change my sex again in order to be free from high heels?
Hell On Heels, Asheville, NC

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tt_457_052016Listen Hell On Heels,
Don’t change anything just yet. Relationship life is not fair we all know that so if you want to keep your BF, you may have to doll it up now and then, and we transsexuals know all about that. Seducing your mate is part of every animal culture. And remember, sister, beauty is in the eyes of whoever is paying the bills. (It’s all about style and grace, along with some primping. See how I get all spiffed up to attract suitors when you check out my cartoon.)

Hello Trinity,
I’ve always dated very handsome men. But I can’t seem to keep one for very long. Do you have any secrets for keeping very handsome men?
Gorgeous or Nothing, Boston, MA

Hello Gorgeous,
There’s one thing my rabbi always said, which I never understood until I got older. The gorgeous ones are always trouble unless they don’t know they’re gorgeous, and if that’s the case, then don’t let them in on that secret! Thus, to you I say the same. The gorgeous ones are almost always going to at least flirt or be flirted with whether you like it or not. So, sweetie, don’t act jealous, keep your self-esteem high, be yourself and don’t try to compete. Otherwise, it’s time to start tasting a new type of meat.

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Dear Trinity,
My partner and I of 15 years just added a third partner to our lives. Contrary to popular belief, it’s really great. But do you have any specific suggestions for couples becoming throuples?
Throuples, Indianapolis, IN

Dear Throuples,
I used to think that it was crazy, but after much research, I came to the conclusion that there definitely are perks to a third person. And, honey, that’s when I decided to write:

Trinity’s Thrusty Tips For Having A Threesome Relationship
1. A king size bed with lots of pillows and a spare bedroom is a must.
2. Make friends (just friends) with other threesome couples.
3. Honor each other’s secrets and privacy! Adults have secrets! Children tell their parents everything!
4. Always cook extra.
5. Accept that all of your family may not understand your relationship.
6. Every three months, sit down and re-negotiate the rules.
7. Take vacations, as well as personal time alone.
8. Communicate everything so that no one (or two) is ever left out.
9. Stay in the moment, the future is not here yet.
10. Take plenty of notes for our, I mean, your book!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted Spiritually Speaking, a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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