Jeff Taylor / Social Media Editor
WATCH: 13 things to stop saying to bisexuals
Updated: November 15, 2017 at 3:51 am
ENGAGE: Write a letter to the editor | Comment on this story
Bisexuals often face biphobia from both the straight and gay communities. There are a number of myths surrounding bisexuality, despite the fact that bisexuals have existed throughout history.
Here are some things bi people are sick of hearing and that you should stop saying, if you find yourself thinking them.
The quotes below are Cruz’s. You can read the article he wrote about this topic, which he mentions in the video, here.
Writer and Bi Activist Eliel Cruz shares the “13 Things To Never Say To Bisexuals”
1. “Bisexuals don’t exist.”
This is a tired old trope…There’s plenty of out and proud bisexuals. I’m one of them.
2. “Bisexuality is a phase.”
I came out when I was 14; 11 to myself, when I first encountered the world bisexual on Google. I never identified as gay, I’ve always identified as bisexual. I’m now 24. It’s been a ten year long “phase.”
3. “Bisexuals are cheaters.”
Cheaters are cheaters. Cheaters come in straight forms, gay forms, bisexual forms. Cheating isn’t attributed to one sexuality. To say that bisexuals are cheaters is just a misunderstanding of what bisexuality is.
4. “Bisexuals are greedy.”
(We don’t) need all the genders in order to be sexually satisfied…We have the same low to high sexual cravings as any other community, gay or straight.
5. “Bisexuality is polyamory.”
Polyamory means that you are in a relationship with more than one person. There are bisexual people who are polyamorous. There are also gay people and straight people who are polyamorous. It is not specific to bisexuality.
They are two different things, but they can overlap, just like any other sexuality.
6. “Bisexuals are scared of commitment.”
If you’re scared of commitment, you need to reevalute your life and figure out what you want to do before you get into dating. It has nothing to do with your sexuality or the other person’s sexuality, whatever it may be.
7. “All women are bisexual.”
This has a really annoying sexualization (aspect to it) that we see a lot in media. It’s all for this male gaze, straight men enjoying women being with women but also with men…Not all women are bisexual and to sexualize them just because they’re women only adds to uphold a really disgusting archaic idea of patriarchy and male gaze and let’s not do that anymore. Not all women are bisexual. Some are, and that’s cool too.
8. “Bisexuals find everyone attractive.”
As if we don’t have standards. That doesn’t make any sense.
9. “Bisexuality is binary.”
(Bisexuals are not) only attracted to cisgender men and women…Bisexuality was never meant to be binary. It is only because we think in such binary ways that we assume that the “bi” means two as in “man” and “woman.” (Bisexuality) simply is: I’m attracted to genders that are my own and genders that are not.
10. “Bisexuals spread HIV.”
This is a really ugly stereotype that came from the height of the HIV/AIDS crisis. When we started seeing women with HIV as well, people blamed a lot of the bisexual community for “spreading” HIV. Regardless of who you are, regardless of your sexuality, if you take the proper precautions, if you’re using a condom, you’re asking your partner their status, you know your status, you’re taking PrEP, we can stop this disease. Let’s be smart about it and let’s be safe.
11. “Bisexuals love threesomes.”
Actually, one of my friends is bisexual and he has so much anxiety that he says the idea of being in bed with more than one person is so anxiety-ridden that he would never in his life want to be in that position.
12. “Bisexual erasure is a myth.”
There are a lot of times in media, in fictional characters but also in real life, where bisexuality is erased from the LGBT community, as well as the straight community. You’ll see a lot of LGBT organizations missing the “B” in their programming, a lot less out bisexual individuals, this has a lot to do with biphobia…Bisexual erasure is definitely a real thing and it hurts us.
13. “Bisexual community is small.”
We make up almost half the LGBT community.
- Open Letter: The increasingly hostile and unfriendly environment in today’s world for all bisexual and bi-curious men
- Bisexuals: Do they really mean business?
- N.C. Pride Festival and Parade in Durham in photos and video
- When this N.C. man came out to boyfriend’s niece he feared the worst but discovered a new world
- Watch: ‘Transmormon’ a documentary about growing up trans and Mormon
- WATCH: Charlotte City Council members vote yes on LGBT non-discrimination ordinance
You can support independent, local LGBT media!
Give a one-time gift or sign up for ongoing voluntary online subscription to support qnotes' nearly three-decade long community service and keep our publication's dynamic, hard-hitting and insightful news and entertainment coverage alive. Click here to support us today.
About the author: Jeff Taylor is a journalist and artist. In addition to QNotes, his work has appeared in publications such The Charlotte Observer, Creative Loafing Charlotte, Inside Lacrosse, and McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. He graduated from the State University of New York at Brockport and has lived in Charlotte since 2006.@jefftaylorhuman.
You can support QNotesYou can support independent, local LGBT media! Give a one-time gift or sign up for an ongoing, voluntary online subscription to support qnotes' nearly three-decade long community service and keep our publication's dynamic, hard-hitting and insightful news and entertainment coverage alive. Click here to support us today.
Print Edition: On Stands Now
Click on the reader below to see the full digital print edition, including the latest news and updates from our advertisers.
The LGBTQ community’s suicide rate is staggering, especially among youth, and in this issue we’ve gathered a host of resources to provide help in staving off this tragedy. We also have other stories that deal with addiction and a senior community. To lighten the fare, we have a feature on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ queen Kameron Michaels. We also have current local and regional news, along with other pieces that will serve to enlighten and entertain our readers.
VIEW ALL SEPTEMBER 7 PRINT CONTENT…
VIEW DIGITAL PRINT EDITION ONLINE…
Sign Up For Our Weekly Newsletter:
- Loading ...
qnotes takes a look at a few of the organizations working to end suicide and aid people in crisis, including individuals who are LGBTQ… more
“A new report from the University of Connecticut and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation reveals some of the factors behind the elevated suicide r... more
It is very easy in today’s complex multi-cultural world to inadvertently offend someone. more
…there has been a significant increase in senior housing options that are more affirming of LGBTQ people as we age. more