I’m going with my boyfriend to meet his parents for the first time. I’m nervous and in need of some good advice.
Parent Fright, Savannah, Ga.
Hey Parent Fright,
It’s normal to be anxious when meeting “the parents,” which is why you should prepare yourself with positive affirmations and smart strategies. Besides looking and acting your best, be careful of the “Parent’s Truth Serum.” It’s that one-too-many-friendly cocktails or glasses of wine that loosen you up to the point of no return. So, baby, don’t be fooled or foolish by having more than one or two drinks the entire night, otherwise you might start revealing some of those tattoo or drug-and-sex stories you vowed never to mention!
I’m getting divorced and have decided to sue. I know you say, “Revenge is wrong and meaningless,” but I’m torn between wiping my hands or taking this to court? What’s your take?
Divorce Court, Palm Springs, Calif.
Hello Divorce Court,
If someone does you wrong, then, of course, protect yourself and make him or her pay for what belongs to you. But, sweetie, meaningless acts of revenge only bring conflict into everyone’s life. Think forgiveness and moving on rather than bad karma and lawyers fees! (The scales of justice abound in my cartoon, along with some sage advice.)
I started dating someone who went online and found out more about me than I knew about myself. Now, I’m afraid I have nothing to say that has intrigue or surprise. Am I wrong to keep secrets from dates?
Secret Surprises, Ogunquit, ME
Dear Secret Surprises,
Secrets are typical and healthy. Unless they’re endangering someone’s life or health, then you must practice integrity and start talking. But, as for carrier, age, income and all those meaningless stereotypes (except zodiac signs), I say you can wait until your date becomes a more regular mate before filling in all the blanks. Darling, when practicing honesty, honestly be clever not righteous!
I’m a gay high school student and still in the closet at home. I’d like to tell my parents, but I’m waiting until I go off to college. Is this how you would do it?
Gay Youth, Sioux Falls, S.D.
Dearest Gay Youth,
While it’s important to be free with your sexuality, it’s also important to be safe and intelligent about coming out. Pumpkin, you’ll be gay forever, so take your time reading:
Trinity’s Survival Tips For Gay Youth
1. Not everyone loves or understands gay people, so don’t waste your time worrying about them. Surround yourself with people who love you.
2. If coming out means physical or financial harm, then wait, plan your strategy right, not foolishly. Being smart is being a smart gay youth.
3. Community is strength. Solitude is for small pox victims. Join a gay youth organization…yesterday.
4. While gay life is not always easy, it can be very exciting. Celebrate what’s good in your life rather than harping on what’s bad.
5. Since you’re constantly learning, then constantly learn that you cannot know it all. Give everyone, including yourself, time to understand your gay life.
6. Having lots of friends, going out a lot and getting high lots doesn’t make you a better person just a popular one. Be an individual.
7. Relationships and people constantly evolve and do not always end up as they originally promised. Find strength in your disappointments.
8. Don’t be a theater snob, a fashion snob, a drunken slob or a pretensions queen. Accept everyone for what they are, including yourself.
9. You’ll change many times throughout life and fit into many different subcultures of gay life. Be open to change and growth.
10. Lastly, being gay is a gift, a blessing and a miracle. Not everyone is worthy of such a unique journey. Keep reminding yourself that you are a gift.
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.