You’ve said, “that gay men were created to teach the world how to be fabulous looking, sexuality empowered and enlightened about equality.” Well then what about straight men?
Straight Stumped, Richmond, VA
Hey Straight Stumped,
Excluding metrosexuals, heterosexuals are here to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex and having little-to-no interior design or fashion sense. They also have many purposes, such as procreation and… well ah… yes, procreation is one of their many virtues. Oh, and let’s not forget who does the dirty work, i.e. oil changes, ditch digging and farming. So, baby, be kind, understanding and reach out and touch a heterosexual’s hand. Make this world a better place if you can!
After five years my very wonderful relationship has become a very dysfunctional disaster. I love my partner and I really want it to work, but he and us are out of control!
Dys-Satisfied, Houston, TX
Relationships are like floors, if you don’t keep up with them, they get faded, ruined and often end up needing to be replaced. Virginia Satir, author and relationship therapist guru wrote, “Every three months end your relationship and start it again new with the same person.” Yes, in other words, darling, you too can turn a dysfunctional relationship around by a) continually reinventing and re-establishing new rules, b) getting couples counseling and/or c) getting out while you’re still alive! (Oy! Relationships are challenging at the least. See how I deal with all of this when you check out my cartoon. Can anyone say, “please” and “thank you” for schlepping?)
My boyfriend of seven months suddenly announced that he wants to be “openly” promiscuous and be with me! Even though I am not comfortable with it, should I try?
Confusion, Portland, OR
From what I’ve studied, it’s typical for gay men to open their relationship up after three to seven years. There are many relationships based not on monogamy, but rather on friendship, openness and even sexual freedom! So, pumpkin, you have to sit with yourself and decide what you want from this relationship. You may decide that being open is better than cheating or that honesty is a bitch and you’re not ready to play like this.
My partner keeps telling me to see a psychotherapist, but I typically handle my own problems. Isn’t therapy for people who are on their last straw?
Therapy Thoughts, Portland, OR
Dear Therapy Thoughts,
We all need intellectual support, spiritual guidance and emotional assistance, especially before “the last straw.” But, sweetie, if you’re still not convinced here are:
Trinity’s Practical Tips For Why To Visit A Professional Psychotherapist
1. Therapy may not be necessary for people who have their lives together, but it sure helps if you want to keep it that way!
2. Talking one-on-one with a professional is much more practical than calling the Psychic Hotline, a busy neighbor or spilling your guts to 9-1-1!
3. Sitting in a safe, comfortable environment with an objective professional truly is one of the easiest ways to look at yourself.
4. You can always wait until “The Last Straw” but…why?
5. You don’t have to be jumping off a bridge to qualify for therapy. Get help before bridge-jumping season begins, please!
6. Remember, the smartest people with the highest self-esteem don’t become that way… alone!
7. When someone says, “My therapist didn’t help.” I reply, “If your mechanic didn’t help, would you dump your car? Try someone else!”
8. If you’re extremely stubborn about solving your problems alone, then not only should you look into therapy, but look into it today!
9. “I can’t afford a therapist,” means you have to research public health or non-profit agencies. There are plenty of affordable mental health clinics. Find one!
10. Lastly, yes, no one knows you better than yourself, but did you also know that you might still be reacting to the world as if it was 20 years ago!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.