I’m not a big druggy, but I like smoking weed and such every so often. Don’t you think getting high now and then opens your mind and gives you a higher awareness? Is it really so bad?
Let’s Study Drugs, Humboldt, Calif.
For thousands of years, through meditation rather than drugs, Buddhists have reached such altered states that one can painlessly walk on fire or put a needle through one’s arm. Native Americans also for thousands of years have used natural, mind-altering substances like peyote, magic mushrooms and marijuana to raise their consciousness especially during a “vision quest.” In the end, darling, natural is safer than chemical and a little is healthier than a lot. Oh, and always bring a designated driver!
It sounds funny, but when I look attractive I get stared at and then I get very uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s even a problem. What do you do?
If Looks Could Kill, Austin, Texas
Dearest If Looks Could Kill,
Everyone hates to be stared at…well, almost everyone. But, it’s part of life, part of culture and part of being attractive. Just imagine how the opposite feels. The best way to deal with being stared at, pumpkin, is to keep your head up and self-esteem high and/or keep a bodyguard nearby. Oh, and I promise it won’t last forever. (See how I stroll on down the avenue when all eyes are on me when you take a look at my cartoon.)
For about a month, I’ve been dating someone. Sometimes she’s good and sometimes I can’t stand her. I don’t want to end it because it’s not “perfect,” but it’s just not perfect? What’s a good enough reason to stop dating someone?
Searching For Reasons, Cambridge, Mass.
First, don’t think of dating as an expensive restaurant where you’re supposed to have the perfect experience. Rather, think of it as free therapy, as a way to practice your communication skills and learn more about your likes and dislikes. Second, let dating teach you how you yourself react in different situations and how patient and compromising you are or are not. And, third, a few good reasons to stop dating include extreme boredom, constant fighting and impatience, too many addictions or personality disorders. And, lastly, when nothing ever goes right. Honey, dating is free so keep dating until you absolutely know you’ve learned your lesson well.
After a year it all changed. My boyfriend used to work so hard at keeping our relationship strong. I don’t know if he’s aware of it or not, but lately, everything he does seems destructive. How do I get him to see that he’s going to destroy us?
You Better Work, Atlanta, Ga.
Hey You Better Work,
Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, he needs to know when one part of a relationship stops working, the whole thing gets destroyed. I must have a list on that subject somewhere? Ah, here’s:
Trinity’s Thoughtful Acts That Destroy Or Keep A Relationship Acts That Destroy A Relationship
1. Boring, unromantic, stale nights, weekends and vacations at home.
2. Addictive drinking, drugs, stubbornness and quick outbursts.
3. Constant controlling, complaining, manipulating and lying.
4. Late nights at the office, on the cell phone or on the internet.
5. Lack of communication, integrity, patience and respect all destroy a relationship.
Activities That Keep A Relationship
1. Patience, generosity, a forgiving attitude and unconditional love.
2. Arriving early to the house, early to help, early to listen and early to bed.
3. Creativity, open-mindedness, positive reassurance and an upbeat attitude.
4. The times left alone, the times left with friends, the times allowed to make mistakes and the times when no one is being rushed.
5. Excessive and romantic nights, weekends, surprises and vacations all show that you want to keep someone coming back for more.
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
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