We all know the court system is biased and dependent upon whether a judge is having a good day or not. But even worse, I got in trouble and have to go to court. Do you have any suggestions for playing the “court” game?
Court Troubles, Cambridge, MA
Hello Court Troubles,
There are many ways to go to court, but only a few ways to win. First, if you can get a lawyer, then do. Ask him/her lots of questions and write down all the answers. Don’t try to remember them. Second, know the laws, the rules, your rights, your case and all the other cases that went through what you’re going through. Third, try to imagine your case from the “other side of the story” so you know what your opponent might say. In other words get well prepared, well dressed and have a winning attitude. And, pumpkin, if you do lose, pay your fine, do your time and stop breaking the law!
I’m starting to date someone who’s in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). He says it’s no problem that I drink, but do you think it can really work if I still drink?
Stuck On Drinking, Santa Fe, NM
Anything can work if you both agree on it. Yet, dating someone in AA, or anyone who has alcohol issues, means you may want to think a little deeper about drinking around them. Most people in AA wait past their first year before getting into any alcohol related situations. But if he doesn’t mind and/or is past that first year and you like to drink then what the hell drink but, darling, why not just do it with your friends when your date’s not around!
I am going to meet my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Help!
Parent Quandaries, Dayton, OH
Dear Parent Quandaries,
“Should I dress respectfully? Should I have just one drink? Should I answer all their questions politely?” and “Should I be on my best behavior?” are all thoughts you should be asking yourself and answering “yes” to! Now if this is the case, then relax, enjoy yourself and expect to be interrogated like a criminal…and, honey, expect to lie like one too! (See my cartoon for ways to be charming and respectful while in the face of being totally grilled! Just don’t get burnt.)
I’m trapped in a marriage with someone who loves me even though I no longer love her. Must I sexually please my partner just to make our relationship work better?
Trapped, Lincoln, NE
When prisoners of war are trapped they learn a) to accept their situation or escape, b) to not complain or be shot, c) to make each day wonderful in order to avoid making everyone around them miserable and, lastly, d) to sexually please those around them who are trying to make their situation better. In other words, sweetie, start reading:
Trinity’s Unselfish Tips For Why To Please Your Spouse (Partner, Lover or Other Half)
1. Because s/he’s younger and sexier than you!
2. Because s/he buys you beautiful, expensive things!
3. Because you can’t go through another divorce.
4. Because s/he asks for sex only a few times a month and the rest of the time you live like a queen/king!
5. Because s/he gives you everything you want, even when s/he’s doesn’t want to.
6. Because s/he will be pushed elsewhere, maybe even dangerous places for sex!
7. Because s/he puts up with your moody, stubborn, spoiled attitude!
8. Because you are part of your relationship and sometimes you need to compromise!
9. Because s/he and everyone needs love and intimacy from their spouse!
10. Lastly, because it’s the right thing to do! Pleasing your other half is what you’re supposed to do even when you’d rather be… shopping!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.