My best friends are coming to town, and I want to host a party for them. But I’m going crazy. My lover says, “Hire someone!” But I want to do it myself. Help!
Hosting Horrors, St. Louis, MO
Hello Hosting Horrors,
Hosting a successful party means putting on “The 11 Hats Of Hosting” starting with host, organizer, purchaser, head chef, prep cook, cleaning person, decorator, DJ, server, event maintenance and post-event breakdown person. I personally prefer hiring two fabulous gay men who usually can do what 11 different non-gay helpers are needed to do. But, honey, if you must do-it-yourself, the best way to multitask is to be organized with lists for shopping, menus and chores, i.e., cooking, serving and cleaning. Remember, “pre-planning, pre-thinking and preparing for everything… to go wrong” is my rule of thumb.
My girlfriend is all over my case because I “crossed boundaries” by saying something I shouldn’t have said at her family reunion! But I tell my family everything, why shouldn’t she?
Crossing Boundaries, Miami, FL
Hey Crossing Boundaries,
It’s very nice to tell your family everything, but not everyone does. And if everyone did, your girlfriend still has a right to be different. Sorry, but she has a right to her boundaries if she feels she needs to protect herself or others. Some couples use spoken and unspoken rules in respect to each other’s boundaries. Now, darling, tell your girlfriend, “I’m sorry! It will never happen again! And I’ll learn to respect your boundaries from now on.” Remember, adults have secrets. Children tell their parents everything! (Tight lips are often the best posture when in new and/or uncertain surroundings. Check my cartoon on how this can play out otherwise!)
I’ve been dating this guy that I really like, but we argue and fight all the time. He suggested therapy. Can it really help?
Fighting Or Therapy, Amarillo, TX
Dear Fighting Or Therapy,
Some of us use therapy to clean out the past or deal with the present, and some of us use it to find ways of getting along with argumentative companions. I personally think everyone should have a therapist and also think seminars such as the Forum, Insight and/or Life Spring teach great awareness and control over unconscious games we play with others and ourselves. We all learned to read and write, but, pumpkin, very few of us were taught how to handle “drama” — I mean dreamy relationships!
I’m in a long distance relationship (LDR) and I could use all the advice you have.
LDR-4-HELP, West Haven, CT
By the time Obama became president, I myself had done the LDR circuit in Connecticut, D.C., Florida, Pennsylvania and Canada. So, baby, since we’re heading into a post-Obama presidency, all of us LDR addicts need to read:
Trinity’s Not So Distant Tips For Dealing With Long Distance Relationships (LDR)
1. Communication means, calling, texting and emailing regularly.
2. Frustration means, when you need to kiss and make up, you’ll actually need to click and redial.
3. Sexual desires mean, while the cat’s away the mouse may play. So, don’t ask too many questions or you may get too many answers.
4. Romance means, vacations, weekends and overnight trips together.
5. Respecting your precious time together means, not making too many personal or work plans when your LDR is visiting.
6. Trusting what you can’t see means, don’t let your fears get the best of you.
7. Accepting life’s troubles means, being open to dealing with them. So, deal with each issue as it comes, rather than being too quick to react.
8. Modernizing means, owning a cell phone, computer and web cam so you can be closer more often.
9. The future, if it works out, means, thinking about moving closer one day.
10. Lastly, enthusiasm means, acting excited when your LDR arrives. Hey a long trip deserves a great welcoming! : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.