Maybe it’s normal over time, but sex with my partner has gone from daily and weekly to barely once a month and we’ve only been together for two years. I don’t like the direction our sex life is going. Is once every three or four weeks normal for a gay couple (late 30s) or is there a problem and what can I do?
Sex Less, Detroit, MI
Dear Sex Less,
When you want to enhance the sexual appetite of your partner, you’ve gotta trick him into getting hungry. So after you first try, 1) periodically leaving him for a few days, then returning fresh and new, 2) taking a romantic weekend together and 3) turning your home into a love den with a romantic dinner, candles and music then try, 4) joining a gym and looking too good to turn down and, lastly, 5) allowing yourselves to have that “huge fight” so after you can have make up sex or what’s been called “The best sex we’ve ever had!” Now, pumpkin, if all those don’t add up to a fuller plate of sex in a few months, then get him drunk and on his knees… I mean get him to sit down and listen to your needs!
I’ve been going out with the same girl for three years, but she still doesn’t fulfill my expectations of her! Am I wrong to expect her to understand me?
Expecting More, St. Louis, MO
Dearest Expecting More,
In most relationships someone is always fulfilling one desire while unfulfilling other desires. This is normal. Now to expect someone to keep their word, to be kind, understanding and to be as honest as they can be is very normal, healthy and smart. However, honey, to expect someone to predict your thoughts, remember your needs and fulfill your desires are… for Stone Age relationships not modern ones! (We’re way past the caveman era, so take some hints from my cartoon!)
I’m 32 and dating a 23 year old. My problem is not the age difference, but that he is still a virgin. Help?
Virgin Trap, Winston-Salem, NC
Hey Virgin Trap,
Lets start by saying what you should not do. Do not force sex, over emphasize his virginity status or push your own sexual desires on this flower. Yet, what you should do is have fun, be understanding and be very accepting of the gift that lies, I mean stands before you. If you want to get him “warmed up,” then, darling, be seductive, sweet and give it time, not two years, but be patient and wait it out a while! He may be a virgin but he’s not 12!
Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking about having a threeway [sexual experience]?
One Blind Mouse, Brooklyn, NY
Hello One Blind Mouse,
Since you already know that threeways can be wonderful as long as you’re all attracted to each other, then,sweetie, here are:
Trinity’s Timely Tips For Having A Threeway
1. This is not the time to be in a hurry!
2. This is not the time to leave the windows open (if you plan on making noise).
3. This is not the time to have a single bed!
4. This is not the time to worry about stains on the sheets!
5. And this is not the time to have strep throat, a cold sore or poison ivy.
6. This however, is the time to turn on the fans or air conditioning.
7. This is the time to have plenty of lubrication, contraception and hand towels.
8. This is the time to practice smart and safe sex!
9. This is the time to practice unselfishness, attentiveness and multi-tasking!
10. And lastly, this is the time to make sure your roommates are passed out, the dogs are fed and walked and there is background music to drown out the noise…I mean set the tone.
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.