I’m an honest, hard working, well-rounded guy with lots to offer. But I have a terrible fear of going over and talking to someone I’m interested in. Isn’t there an easier way to play “the game?”
Stalemate, Wichita, KS
For most, the “pick up game” is truly all about “fear of rejection,” which can destroy the simple act of simply trying to talk to someone. However, you must remember, a) rejection is only a psychological concept, and b) approaching someone must be treated like playing “The Rejection Game.” In other words make believe you’re practicing “getting rejected” rather than neurotically needing to “get accepted.” This way, all the pressure is taken out. Rejection (or acceptance) has nothing ever to do with you, but rather someone else’s simple fantasy of how they see you fitting into their fantasy of you. In “The Pickup Game” you must be willing to have fun and deal with all replies with your head high. Sometimes you’ll be ignored, sometimes adored. Eventually, pumpkin, you will become the master of your own game, not a slave to some else’s foolish desire or lack of desire for you!
I mean really, do I have to be ashamed of my excessive promiscuity? Isn’t there enough shame in the world? Can’t I just be a shameless slut?
Slut Pride, Provincetown, MA
Hello Slut Pride,
Just for the record, shame is lack of self-love and excessive promiscuity is often related to an excessive lack of not being touched. Now with that said, I must ask, when you’re a “shameless slut” are you loveless and touchless or full of love, passion and compassion? Being a slut, sweetie, is nothing to be too ashamed of, unless, of course, you do it shamelessly! (I’ve taken good advice in my life and it’s a good thing! Check out my cartoon to see how I’ve managed it all!)
I’m seeing a guy who “only wants sex, not a date!” Is it OK to just have a “sex-date” or “sex-mate” and also date on the side?
Sex Date, Baton Rouge, LA
Dearest Sex Date,
It’s great to get “it” — and even greater if it’s on a regular basis. Yet, if he has no interest in offering you a future, then absolutely get out and date…with fury. If you like, keep him for fun, yet don’t get lazy because of him. Keep dating! You see, honey, until you find Mr. Dream Date, it’s healthy and acceptable to have someone to fall back on…or under!
Gay marriage is much harder than I imagined. I want to keep my commitment vows, but it seems to be a constant uphill climb.
Keeping Your Vows, Stanford, CT
Dear Keeping Your Vows,
Commitment to anyone or anything means work, work and more work, but, darling, to keep it more fulfilling, try:
Trinity’s Smooth Tips For Keeping Your Marriage/Commitment Vows
1. Being selfish means trouble! Stop it, grow up and realize you’re not single anymore!
2. Being righteous or stubborn means taking the joy out of a relationship! Why not say “Yes” as often as possible?
3. Getting outside help with cooking, cleaning or organizing means you’ll both be free from fighting about these things.
4. Second guessing doesn’t mean psychologically beating your spouse up for not being psychic.
5. Listening to someone’s problems means making time to listen even when you don’t want to, and sometimes even getting professional help.
6. Yet, sharing does not mean constantly talking about every little problem, worry or secret you have.
7. Having integrity means being a person of your word and taking responsibility for your actions.
8. However, love often means having to say “I’m sorry!” even when you’re not.
9. Letting go of “the little things” means you’ll have a much happier life enjoying bigger things.
10. Lastly, fighting does not mean “It’s over;” it means, “Go away for now, and when I’m ready we’ll make up.” : :
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.