My boyfriend left me without a trace. A year later he returned with his new boyfriend. Now they want me to spend time with them. But I want some closure first. If I don’t get it, should I still see them? And how can I get over him for good?
Wounded, Green Bay, WI
Yes, if you want closure and an explanation, then demand it. You always deserve that, especially if you’ll see them around town, and he wants to be friends. However, if he said, “It was me or you or the devil,” isn’t it always just psychobabble anyway? In the end, isn’t it just you trying to figure out how to deal with it, how to learn to forgive him and how to move on with your life? So, deal with it in any way that feels right, get closure and move on ASAP! Remember, pumpkin, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
My very close group of friends spend lots of time together telling each other everything. Now, one of them won’t talk to me because I told the others about his sexual experiences. What’s the big deal?
Sloppy Secrets, Queens, NY
Hey Sloppy Secrets,
It’s great to want to share your friend’s experiences with your other comrades, but that’s not your business! Sharing “intimate” information about someone must be cleared by them first; otherwise, you’re gossiping and not being a good friend, period! Darling, gossiping and sharing are two very different things! (This is not a game of Truth or Dare or anything like it. There’s an old adage, and “Pretty Little Liars” has it in their theme song: “two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.” My cartoon shows you how the game should be played. Mum’s the word, honey!)
I met someone who wants to date regularly, but still wants to have his one-night stands on the side for a while. Help!
One Night Stand Off, Houston, TX
Hello One Night Stand Off,
Honesty’s a bitch! However, it’s not untypical for gay relationships to grow slowly into monogamy (and then sometime out of it). Rather than expecting someone to jump onto the monogamy train right away, a) try to start this relationship with an open mind, b) try not to talk about it too much and c) if it goes on for too long, honey, try to run away from it!
How do you know when you’re no longer dressing in drag for fun, but have become a professional drag queen?
Trans-formation, Nashville, TN
There are many signs on the road to professional drag-queendom. Besides paycheck increases, a MAC membership and a closet full of dresses, sweetie, here are:
Trinity’s Sparkling Tips For Knowing If You’re A (PDQ) Professional Drag Queen
1. When you have a dedicated drag bag, a drag closet and drag accessories — welcome home, PDQ!
2. When you haven’t seen your chest hair, leg hair and/or facial hair for months — you’re probably a PDQ or from LA or South Beach!
3. When fake boobs, hip pads, stockings and a wig have a special place of their own in your home — you’re a PDQ!
4. When you’re constantly finding excess eyelash glue and glitter — then you’re definitely a PDQ!
5. When you find yourself saying, “Cover Girl does not cover boys.” Or “Real men wear dresses too.” Or “MAC = God!” — then guess what.
6. When your birthday gift collection has nothing remotely masculine in it, and no one knows your “boy name” — then guess what again!
7. When a life changing experience includes finding an “affordable” designer dress
or having your “face on” in under an hour — PDQ!
8. When your other gay friends see a guy with a girl and say, “Look at him! What a waste!” but you say, “Look at her shoes!” — PDQ!
9. When your travel agenda always starts at a Payless ShoeSource women’s section — then you’re an official PDQ!
10. Lastly, when you’ve learned to walk into a woman’s clothing store with pride — then you’re finally a proud PDQ!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.