It’s been two years since my last date and seven years since my last relationship. I’m not a bar or app guy. My friends say, “visit a bigger city where gay life is easier,” but I’m not comfortable going alone to big cities. Please help!
Trapped, A Small Town In SC
Close your eyes and let me cast a dating spell on you. Wish, wander and begin to say with me now, and every day, “I’m a man magnet/dating machine. I’m a man magnet/dating machine. I’m a man magnet/dating machine.” Next, ASAP, I want you to take a vacation to P-town, Fort Lauderdale, Palm Springs or Puerto Vallarta. Once you’ve had one good week-long vacation to let the dating spell set in, all will be transformed. Lastly, honey, on this trip talk to everyone and make dates with anyone you like. Plus have lots of sex, lots of fun and lots of adventures. Live, live, live!
My boyfriend of 18 months recently told me, “There’s no one else…but we need to take a break and sort out our problems by ourselves for a while.” I’m crushed. I know we fight a lot, but isn’t he making a mistake?”
Nothing But The Blues, Wichita, KS
It feels like he wants to work things out by taking a break from the battlefield and work on making your relationship healthy again. Sometimes couples need romantic getaways, and sometimes they need a break away from the front lines. So, darling, be glad he wants to take a step back and work on things instead of just ending it or running away. Good luck.
The guy I’ve been dating for three months just broke up with me because I smoke. What kind of crazy excuse it that?
Smoking And Single, Peoria, IL
Hello, Smoking And Single,
You mean he didn’t want to smell the smoke on his clothes, in his hair and in his house or car or while walking with you? You mean he didn’t want to kiss you with tobacoo breath? You mean he couldn’t take the 31 chemicals including formaldehyde trying to embrace his lungs with second hand smoke? What a beast. Maybe next time, sweetie, you’ll quit smoking first. (Be a doll and check out my cartoon to see how I handle being around a “smoke cloud!”)
My Muslim boyfriend, whom I deeply loved, just ended our relationship. He “needs” to find a woman because being gay is so against his religion. I can’t stop crying. How can I get through the next few hours, days and weeks?
Religious Woes, Montreal, QC
Hey Religious Woes,
Each time a relationship ends, it’s like a death. Actually it is a death, and the first few hours and days are the toughest. That’s why, pumpkin, I wrote:
Trinity’s Survival Tips For The First Few Hours After Your Relationship Ends
1. Rest, be peaceful and don’t try to think of too many things at once.
2. Do things that come naturally to you to help the time pass: clean, cook, watch TV or play happy music.
3. Eat “comfort foods” like eggs, toast, cereal or a burger. Carbohydrates are very healing.
4. Don’t answer your phone or your texts for a few hours or even the rest of the day.
5. Write about your feelings. Call a friend. Let it out!
6. Watch comedy shows. No dramas and no National Geographic programs where the alligator sneaks up and kill its prey.
7. Slowly (and calmly) take down the pictures of your (now) ex-monster, I mean man.
8. Take nice deep breaths. Try not to go over and over the reasons why he ended it. It’s all just excuses.
9. Have a massage, a glass of wine and a good night’s sleep.
10. And, lastly, remember, ice cream has been curing broken hears for decades. So get yourself a scoop.
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.