Is being single a time to develop yourself or does it just suck?

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
Why are some of us cursed with being forever single while everyone else gets to be in love or married? Doesn’t being single just suck?
Forever Single, St. Louis, MO

Dear Forever Single,
If you look really closely at people in love, you’ll notice plenty of troubled moments hidden in between public displays of bliss. Being in a relationship truly is not any easier than being without that special someone to hug and kiss and, and…forget what I just said! Single sucks! Sucks! Sucks! Sucks! But, honey, being single does give you lots of time to develop yourself. Remember the grass is always greener, so take this time of being single to work on your dreams and yourself because when love comes a-knockin’, the alone time you once dreaded eventually becomes your best friend!

Hello Trinity,
Every time I go on a date something goes wrong. I say the wrong thing or can’t stop acting nervous. I don’t need to be perfect, but how can I be a better date?
Better Date, Orlando, FL

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Hello Better Date,
In dating as in life, “Everything that can go wrong will!” But eventually as we gain experience, we also learn to make “better” out of “worse.” During tough times, keep your head up high, think “outside the box,” think making fun of your mistakes, think being fabulous versus being frustrated and lastly, baby, think solution versus problem. (Check out how incredibly I make lemonade out of lemons and turn even the worst day into something fabulous when you check out my cartoon.)

Hi Trinity,
Next month I’m going to do drag for the first time. I don’t know how to dress, how to do makeup and, especially, how to act like a woman. Any advice?
First Timer, Atlanta, GA

Hi First Timer,
Condragulations! Now, let’s start by having your face done up at MAC (average 40 bucks) or by purchasing the essential 6: lipstick, blush, shadow, liquid eyeliner, Covermark foundation and powder. Remember, Covergirl does not cover boys! For the feet, think Payless Shoes and add 1+1/2 to your size. Legs — think two layers of nylons, first opaque to cover the hair and the other tan, or buy Capezio tights. Outfits — think long sleeves to cover those manly arms and think black. It goes everywhere like rhinestones! As for appearances, men appear tough, fast and dominant; women appear gentle, patient and calm. Women wave with their fingers and toss their hair back, men use their whole hand and rarely play with their hair in public. Lastly, for your drag name: first name is first dog, last name is mother’s maiden name. And, sweetie, don’t forget, a drag queen always sports false lashes, a wig, Lee press on nails and heels. Otherwise you’re just a man in a dress.

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Dearest Trinity,
I’m thinking of coming out to my family. Before I do, have you got any comforting words of wisdom?
Coming Out, Sacramento, CA

Dearest Coming Out,
Welcome back, Dorothy! Coming out usually is a shocker at first, but years later they always say, “I never had a problem with it.” So, pumpkin, prepare yourself with:

Trinity’s Comfortable Tips For Coming Out
1. Set up a support system for yourself before you say the “holy words!”
2. Leave yourself a little financial independence before you tell them, just in case.
3. Leave a few hints prior to the big surprise. Like this article!
4. Be understanding towards their new situation! Time heals everything.
5. Make sure no one is standing near a cliff when you tell them.
6. First, tell them you have cancer then say, “Just kidding! I’m only gay!”
7. Get them to start watching “Will and Grace” in the fall.
8. Get them to visit gay places, events or gay spiritual groups.
9. Feel pride in knowing that it only gets better…after it gets worse!
10. And, lastly, hold your ground (or go dancing)!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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